1

"The rise of computer technologies and networking is due to collective action similar to that of other social movements, such as the environmental movement, the anti-tobacco movement or the women's movement, for example."

  1. In terms of traditional grammar, is it technically wrong to say "those" instead of "that"? 2. If so, is it still wrong even in colloquial situations?
  2. Are there other errors or slight incoherency from the viewpoint of a native speaker? FYI since I'm not a native, I would very much like a response from a fluent native speaker.
2

For your first question, it is technically wrong to say those. However, many people will prefer those to that because it seems to agree with 'other social movements'. But in your sentence, the word that agrees with collective action as it should.

In colloquial situations, either will probably go by unnoticed.

For your second question, the combination of such as and for example is redundant. If I were you, I would leave the such as in and take out for example. I'd also stick in an oxford comma after anti-tobacco movement, but that's a matter of preference.

  • For the benefit of those in Commonwealth countries, I would like to add that nearly all British style manuals oppose the use of the "Oxford comma" unless absolutely necessary: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/… – Dog Lover Apr 15 '15 at 4:04
0

"is due to" is not good English (though commonly used). A better phrase would be one which makes it perfectly clear what logical connection you are making between "the rise of X and Y" and "collective action". Do you mean "is produced by"?

  • What makes you say that "'is due to' is not good English"? It sounds perfectly fine to me. – ruakh Apr 15 '15 at 4:11

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