In Goa, I see tourists wearing t-shirts that have the following text on them, along with a red arrow:

It’s not going to suck itself

What does this mean?

  • 4
    Presumably the arrow is pointing down? – MrHen May 4 '11 at 16:12
  • 7
    So nice that tourism hasn't spoilt Goa – mgb May 4 '11 at 18:00
  • 9
    Avoid these people as you would any other vermin. – PSU May 4 '11 at 20:44
  • 6
    It means "kick me as hard as you can" – JeffSahol May 26 '11 at 20:09
  • 2
    I think questions like these give reason to implement a maturity rating system. – user9170 May 26 '11 at 22:23

Matthew has half the answer. The other half is that "{Noun} isn't going to {verb} itself" is a common phrase implying that a task isn't going to get done unless someone (by implication, the person being spoken to) quits messing around and starts doing it. For example: "These dirty dishes aren't going to clean themselves."

So basically this shirt is supposed to be a "clever" way of suggesting that you should drop whatever you are doing and give the T-shirt wearer oral sex. I'm probably no expert, but I'm guessing he doesn't get many takers...

  • 2
    When said without being directed at anyone, the phrase is more like an admission of obligation: (my homework) isn't going to (do) itselfI should (do my homework). – Jon Purdy May 27 '11 at 4:54
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    @Jon Purdy - Perhaps we should all read the tourist's T-Shirt in that sense then. :-) – T.E.D. May 27 '11 at 19:27
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    Hah. Somehow I don't think well, I best get to it really crosses the mind of that sort of guy. – Jon Purdy May 27 '11 at 21:30

It refers to the genitalia of the (presumably male) person wearing the shirt.

(I hate offensive tourists.)

  • 6
    For this, we need a word stronger than "offensive." One that rhymes with "whoosh-bag" maybe. – The Raven May 4 '11 at 16:00
  • 4
    @TheRaven: You were thinking of axolotl? – Cerberus May 4 '11 at 16:14
  • @cerberus what's axolotl? – Louis Rhys Sep 13 '11 at 9:05
  • 1
    @LouisRhys: I was pretending I didn't know what rhymes with whoosh-bag and suggested an absurd word, since axolotl is a rather uncommon word, and it rhymes with nothing at all (except perhaps a few other Aztec loan words). It wasn't really a funny joke, but there you have it. – Cerberus Sep 13 '11 at 17:38
  • 1
    @Louis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non_sequitur. – Matthew Read Sep 13 '11 at 17:38

These t-shirts are apparently not limited to Goa, but appear to be rather distressingly popular, coming not merely in t-shirts alone:

t-shirt reading: it's not going to suck itself

but also in many other formats, only a few of which are routinely hidden from the public eye:

boxer underwear reading: it's not going to suck itself

All these products are saying the same thing: the “it” refers here to a man’s private tackle, so this a man on the lookout for a new fellationship (Urban Dictionary) — that is, he’s looking for a blow job from someone else. The phrase “doesn’t suck itself ” further rules out autofellatio (Wikipedia). It’s extremely coarse advertising in search of a fellator or fellatrix to sexually service the fellow.

A slightly less gender-biased variant is occasionally seen, one that might be worn by either men or women because it substitutes lick for suck:

t-shirt reading: it's not going to lick itself

Even if the allegorical ice cream cone on the lady’s t-shirt might bring a smile to some viewers, all these products are extremely coarse, and probably offensive to many viewers.

  • 2
    I think the one on the boxer shorts is kind of cute, actually, as presumably it'll be seen only by people who are likely to appreciate it. The ones on the T-shirt are, frankly, disturbing. – TRiG Oct 6 '12 at 20:36

protected by F'x May 27 '11 at 8:51

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