How would you exaggeratedly express food that tastes nothing to sound even worse than "It tastes like cardboard"? I want a word that sounds beyond a average man can imagine. "Shit" would have its unique flavour, so I wouldn't put that in the list.

  • It tastes… bad! – bjb568 Apr 3 '15 at 3:00
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    Chalk, straw, sawdust, newspaper, fertilizer (leaving it up to ones imagination as to what kind), dry dog food, raw potato, bird poop, Styrofoam. – Hot Licks Apr 3 '15 at 3:26
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    It tastes like cardboard that's had the flavor removed. – Jim Apr 3 '15 at 3:37
  • @HotLicks "bird poop" sounds intriguing, have you ever tasted it before? – Jason Apr 3 '15 at 4:34
  • Yeah, mr hot. It's indeed intriguing how you got to know how "bird poop" tastes like. Did you also dive into your dog's bag of chow, when you ran out of human food? – Blessed Geek Apr 3 '15 at 6:00

Shoe leather (I'm thinking of Charlie Chaplin trying to eat his boot).

Stale matzoh. (My mother described the most successful diet she ever went on like this: she stopped taking a lunch to work. The only food in her office was a box of ancient matzoh.)

Stone soup.

  • Which one fit the bill? I'm curious! – aparente001 Apr 3 '15 at 5:12

Food that's particularly bland and tasteless is often described as pablum (or Pablum):

a brand of soft, bland cereal for infants

It's amusing to note that when Pablum was introduced in 1931,

media reports at the time said the cereal tasted like "boiled Kleenex" and "had the consistency of mucilage and smelled like the inside of an old cardboard box."

  • I'd use "pablum" in a research paper but it sounds too mild for me to use it in a conversation (e.g. verbal fight). I think it's due to lack of 'f' or 't' consonants to remind you of insults like "f word" or "s word". – Jason Apr 3 '15 at 4:40
  • Or, something which is very similar to pablum, and often used as an expression for bland: "wallpaper paste". – Oldbag Apr 3 '15 at 9:12

Banal is a rather harsh adjective you could use to describe tastelessness.

If you wish to really exaggerate you could say: "The dish was mortally banal"


shirt backing I once had an omelet in England that tasted like shirt backing. (same as cardboard but sounds cooler).

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