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"Success doesn't come to you, you go to it!"

Does this sound right? I feel that something is wrong with it, but I, as an ESL can't really figure what is wrong. How to properly phrase this sentence?

Please tell me if such questions shouldn't be asked on StackExchange English. I am new to the website.

closed as off-topic by Kristina Lopez, oerkelens, Edwin Ashworth, tchrist, Drew Mar 20 '15 at 21:28

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Proofreading questions are off-topic unless a specific source of concern in the text is clearly identified." – Kristina Lopez, oerkelens, Edwin Ashworth, tchrist, Drew
If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

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    Do you mean Hang in there, baby? – Ian MacDonald Mar 20 '15 at 13:40
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    "Success doesn't come to you, you go TO it!" – plmadding Mar 20 '15 at 13:56
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    You go to it or you go for it. You cannot just go it. The verb cannot be transitive in this meaning. That is decidedly ungrammatical. – RegDwigнt Mar 20 '15 at 14:25
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    Welcome to ELU. re: "Please tell me if such questions shouldn't be asked on StackExchange English. I am new to the website." Sadly, the answer is that "How can I improve this sentence?" kind of questions are not dealt with on ELU. Please see the FAQ at english.stackexchange.com/help/asking – Kris Mar 20 '15 at 14:41
  • See also: English Language Learners which may interest you as an ESL student. – Kris Mar 20 '15 at 14:42
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How about:

Success doesn't come looking for you, you have to go for it!

There's a double meaning to the second half of the sentence - in addition to meaning "you have to actively search for success" (implied by the context), the phrase "go for it" also means to strongly commit to something. This usage should be familiar to native English speakers, but may not be obvious to non-native speakers.

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You could go with different wording.

Don't wait for success to come to you. Go out there and seize it!

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