I'm looking for a single word that describes a "quietly reliable" person. i.e. someone who is conscientious as a matter of course, not expecting any praise or even mention of it, they are just habitually dependable, like a parent or friend who's always there for you.
I'm sure there are some words for it but I can't put my finger on them.
"steadfast".
This implies both reliability and a lack of drama. You could also go with "staunch", but that seems a little more likely to be not quiet.
How about stalwart? As an adjective, it means "loyal, reliable, and hard-working." but you could also use it as a noun if you were specifying who the person was loyal to?
Stolid comes fairly close (via oxforddictionaries.com):
calm, dependable, and showing little emotion or animation
an unfailing friend: not failing; not giving way; not falling short of expectation; completely dependable.
This is an easy one to overlook:
Responsible (From the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary):
having the job or duty of dealing with or taking care of something or someone
able to be trusted to do what is right or to do the things that are expected or required
involving important duties, decisions, etc., that you are trusted to do
This carries the full meaning of what you are trying to say. This is a person that is not performing their duty for praise, or being especially noteworthy in their conduct, but just 'doing their job' and being dependable for things that are expected of them. It's not glamarous by any means - it's just being mature and dependable.
If you want a colloquial term, you could use "rock", as in "She's my rock."
You want something short? The shortest I can think of is trusty:
trusty adj. Dependable; faithful; reliable.
[From my physical American Heritage Dictionary, 2nd College Ed.]
A surprisingly popular thread, and an interesting array of suggestions. Despite all of the 16 answers already provided, I believe I have a different angle.
Selfless: having or showing great concern for other people and little or no concern for yourself
Most of the other suggested words convey the sense of reliability, but do not necessarily reflect the "quiet" part of your request. A truly selfless person does not seek glory for themselves.
Dependable is the first word that comes to my mind...
A "diligent" person tends to be reliable by nature, without fanfare.
Solid - Its not the real definition of the word, but I think most people would understand whats meant.
If you want something with a bit of an archaic tone, you could try yeomanly
having the virtues attributed to yeomen, such as staunchness, loyalty, and courage
Collins
Probably, time-tested (TFD)
(adj) : tested and proved to be reliable.
I’d like to add “unsung hero” to the list.
Unsung Hero
From Urban Dictionary:
Someone who does a great job yet receives little or no recognition for that. An unsung hero usually refrains from claiming too much in return for his/her efforts.
From Dictionary.com:
A person who makes a substantive yet unrecognized contribution
I'd consider workhorse:
a person who performs most of the work of a group task; a hardworking person
something that is markedly useful, durable, or dependable
I like the expression be (always) there for sb:
- to be available to provide help and support for someone: We haven't always been close, but she was there for me when I needed her. Best friends are always there for each other in times of trouble.
trustworthy may also fit: (M-W)
- able to be relied on to do or provide what is needed or right : deserving trust.
Sentinel carries the proper denotation and connotation, IMHO.
Steadfast has the right nuance of meaning. adjective resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering. "steadfast loyalty" synonyms: loyal, faithful, committed, devoted, dedicated, dependable, reliable, steady, true, constant, staunch, solid, trusty Although I am stretching the meaning it is from the Old English stedefæst. It is comprised of two parts: stede (“stead, place”) + -fæst (“fixed”) Silent is simply inferred from context
A noun might be trump, as defined by TFD:
Informal A reliable or admirable person.
MW, too, emphasizes the quality and virtue of a trump with:
a dependable and exemplary person
It is not used in this way often, so Oxford Dictionaries prefaces its definition with dated.
O. Henry uses it in his short story A Service of Love (1906), in which hard times fall upon two married artists. The wife tells her husband that she has temporarily given up her schooling and taken up tutoring so they can still eat while he continues his studies. The husband, realizing her sacrifice, commends her with:
"All right," said Joe, reaching for the blue scalloped vegetable dish. "But I hate for you to be giving lessons. It isn't Art. But you're a trump and a dear to do it."
She does it without the expectation of praise, since (in a spoiler tag because it's O. Henry):
She was unable to find pupils and has been working instead in a laundry. (The husband finds out because he's been working in the engine-room of the same laundry.)
