I am proof reading my friends resume,
He has written his career Objective as below:
1) Seeking a challenging position in an organization, where my skills and my education background can add value to the growth of the organization and allow development of my skills to organization potential.
I feel the sentence should be rewritten as "....growth of the organization and also allow development of my skills to organization potential".
Second Question: His work experience section is described as below.
2) Currently working as Systems Engineer in XYZ Limited with total experience of 2 years in .NET technology inclusive of 3 months of training.
I feel the sentence should be rewritten as ".... inclusive of 3 months training.".
please help me in deciding, whether my editions are correct or not.