There is a single obscure word whose very definition is when one says "I'm sorry for saying this, but" or "I hate to tell you this, but", and then proceeds to do the very opposite and attacks or lambasts the person they're talking to. For the life of me I can't find it and I've searched high and low. Can someone please help me? Many thanks and cheers!
The word I was looking for was parrhesia.
Parrhesia is defined as boldness of speech. But it's a great word with another special meaning:
Quoting from 1000 Most Challenging Words, by Norman W. Schur (Galahad Books, 1987):
In oratorical rhetoric, i.e., the art of influencing an audience, parrhesia, in the words of William Safire (On Language, in The New York Times Magazine of October 21, 1984), "has a specialized meaning: 'warning of potential offense, and asking pardon in advance.'" The expression with all due respect (in Britain, they shorten it to with respect) is an example of parrhesia: What it really means is, "I haven't the slightest respect for you and certainly not for what you just said, and I'm going to show you up before this prestigious audience for the blithering idiot you are...!"
The word comes from the Greek prefix para- (beside, beyond - as in, e.g., parapsychology) plus rhesis (speech).
Other examples include "Forgive me, but...", "Pardon me, but...".
At least this gives the recipient of such a preface a short time to best prepare for the oratorical firestorm coming their way!