I am looking for one word that expresses being disgusted by your own thoughts, or repulsed by your subconscious, anything like that. I'm not looking for words that mean repulsed by your body or having bad self-image/self-esteem. Ideas?

  • 4
    Self-loathing? The actual revulsion you describe is common in OCD, though. They're called intrusive thoughts, and are often awful to contemplate. – anongoodnurse Dec 26 '14 at 21:54
  • Not exactly self-loathing. It's more of a "what is wrong with me?" feeling. – Dana Dec 26 '14 at 21:56
  • Not one word, but slang and fits: weirded out. – anongoodnurse Dec 26 '14 at 21:59
  • A "what is wrong with me" feeling sounds like self-doubt. But that's mild, and a long way from repulsion. Then there's [one's] own worst enemy, as in "it's no surprise to me, I am my own worst enemy, 'cause every now and then, I kick the living sh*t outta me" (Lit) – Brian Hitchcock Dec 27 '14 at 0:09

Usually people call this self-hatred or self-loathing.


Are you looking for "self-reproach", "self-reproval", or "self-censoring"?

  • reproach (noun) - the act or action of reproaching or disapproving. Merriam-Webster

  • reproval (noun) - the act of reproving. TFD

  • censor (verb) - to examine in order to suppress or delete anything considered objectionable Merriam-Webster


People often refer to thoughts they wish they didn't have as "mental demons" - as if there were little beings in there, saying nasty things - but I don't know of a single word.

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