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Having a small confusion between the following sentences:

"Enigma combines organic and electronic sounds, and takes you on a mystical journey..."

OR

"Enigma combines organic and electronic sounds, taking you on a mystical journey..."

Which of these is more appropriate? Also, is the comma really required after the word "sounds" in either sentences? Somehow I feel that the comma should be there.

Looking for some advice. Thanks.

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Both sentences are grammatical; how you express this depends on whether the combination or the journey is more important and what 'tone of voice' you want to use.

  • The paratactic version puts more emphasis on the journey, because it falls at the end: the journey is felt to be the outcome toward which the combination moves you.

  • The participle version puts more emphasis on the combination: the journey is subordinated, almost a side effect of the combination. This version, however, is more 'literary' and 'elevated', because participle clauses like this are rare in spontaneous speech.

If you want a literary version (which you probably do, since you're talking about a 'mystical' journey) which puts the emphasis on the journey, try flipping your subordinate:

Combining organic and electronic sounds, Enigma takes you on a mystical journey ...

ADDED:
You now tell us that this sentence is introduced by the phrase "With beautiful melodies & exciting rhythms, ..." But logically the sounds are components and the melodies and rhythms products of their combination. I suggest:

Combining organic and electronic sounds into beautiful melodies & exciting rhythms, Enigma takes you on a mystical journey ...

But permit me to share a secret of the fluff-writing fraternity: it doesn't really matter how you put those thoughts together. All the client cares about is your getting in the features: organic and electronic, beautiful melodies, exciting rhythms, mystical journey, because that's what takes up their energy. Readers, on the other hand, stop reading after the first phrase or two because that fluff goes on and on and never gets around to the benefits, the "What's in it for me?".

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  • Thanks a lot for the explanation, StoneyB. I think your suggestion sounds really good, but there is a small issue in my case. I have a few more words before "Enigma combines..." which I did not mention in my main question. Sorry for that. The actual sentence is like: "With beautiful melodies & exciting rhythms, Enigma combines organic and electronic sounds, taking you on a mystical journey..." Or, should I prefer "and takes you" after "sounds," instead of "taking you"?
    – LoveEnigma
    Dec 3, 2014 at 18:19
  • @LoveEnigma I've added to my suggested rewrite, and thrown in some Professional Advice gratis. Dec 3, 2014 at 18:36
  • Thank you so much. Yeah, it is indeed meant as a fluff-writing, but I was still getting grammar and framing conscious. I will take your advice in general, and modify my sentence accordingly.
    – LoveEnigma
    Dec 3, 2014 at 18:47

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