I find the highlighted sentence construction to be awkward. In the bracket, I want to give examples of few subjects which I have studied under a branch. Not sure what is the best way to do the same. Thanks.

At XYZ, I received an extensive training in mathematics (such as measure theory and stochastic process) and statistics (such as time series and GLM).

  • Replace such as with including, and see if it works. – Kris Dec 1 '14 at 6:01

Because your example exhibits other issues than those you ask about, you may wish to ask questions in Writers stackexchange or in English Language Learners. (For example, drop the phrase “an extensive training”. For one thing, no article should be used there. For another, it may be better to refer to study, education, or coursework rather than to training, which has non-professional overtones.)

That said, consider forms like the following:

At XYZ, I studied mathematical and statistical topics including measure theory, stochastic processes, time series analysis, and general linear modeling.

At XYZ, my math and statistical coursework included topics in measure theory, stochastic processes, time series analysis, and general linear modeling.

  • Can you please explain why there should not be an "an" before extensive? – Sumit Dec 1 '14 at 11:40
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    @Sumit, that's because training acts as a mass noun, and mass nouns don't take an indefinite article a or an. – James Waldby - jwpat7 Dec 1 '14 at 16:03

The embedding of multiple lists in continuous prose is inherently a somewhat awkward device. If the individual study topics referred to in your sentence are important enough to justify being mentioned separately, I would be inclined to present the main branch of study in the body of the text, and then list the individual topics under bullet-point headings before resuming your prose narrative.

For instance:

At XYZ, I received an extensive training in mathematics and statistics, as follows:

  • mathematics: measure theory, stochastic process, topology

  • statistics: time series, GLM, extrapolation theory

Then at ABC, I undertook doctoral studies in DEF, and ....

  • I understand your point. However, I can't do so because of limitation on the number of words. Is there a way I can write a less awkward sentence, without going into bullets? – Sumit Dec 1 '14 at 4:26
  • Also, you seem to have a good understanding of math and statistics, given that you have added topology and exploration theory on your own :) – Sumit Dec 1 '14 at 4:27
  • You could reduce "such as" to "e.g.". Beyond that, I can't see a way to reduce the awkwardness any further. – Erik Kowal Dec 1 '14 at 4:27
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    No, I'm afraid I just picked something vaguely plausible-sounding out of the air. :) – Erik Kowal Dec 1 '14 at 4:28

How about: 'At XYZ, I received extensive training in mathematical disciplines like measure theory and stochastic process, and statistical prognostications like time series and GLM.'

'Like' is less formal; and some people say that it implies comparison rather than inclusion; but, then again, it solves your awkward language problem; and, besides, whoever reads the above statement probably isn't going to recognize the subtle difference, anyway.

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