1

I am not sure if the usage of comma and articles are correct in the sentence below. More specifically:

  • is the comma justified in '... a Master of X degree, from XYZ ...'
  • does 'a Master of X degree' makes sense?

Hence, I earned a Bachelor of X degree, followed by a Master of X degree, from XYZ in 2010 and 2012 respectively, with full tuition fee waived and stipend from the Government of PQR.

2

If you retain the existing structure of your text, you should also retain both the first and last commas surrounding "followed by a Master of X [degree]"; this is because it is a parenthetical description that needs to be marked off accordingly.

'Degree' can actually be omitted in both cases. This is because your readers will know from the context that you are talking about a degree, and also because it is quite common simply to refer to 'a Bachelors in X' or 'a Masters in Y'.

A good alternative way of presenting your text would be to consolidate the elements that belong together:

Hence I earned a Bachelor of X [degree] from XYZ in 2010, followed by a Master of X [degree] in 2012 (also from XYZ), with a full waiver of the tuition fee and a stipend from the Government of PQR.

or

Hence I earned a Bachelor of X [degree] in 2010, followed by a Master of X [degree] in 2012 (both from XYZ), with a full waiver of the tuition fee and a stipend from the Government of PQR.

This reorganization makes explicitly clear the sequence of your qualifications and where they were gained without needing to resort to the use of 'respectively'.

  • 1
    You're very welcome. :) – Erik Kowal Dec 1 '14 at 4:02

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