The sample sentence I want to say is "The wolf stalked forward slowly, towards him. Nostrils flared, it growled menacingly"

I know the sentence structure is not proper but I'm not able to combine the two sentences without using lots of commas.

It would be great if anyone could help me make it one sentence.

Edit : based on the comments and replies, let me clarify as to what is the word supposed to mean here : it is supposed to mean that the wolf moved ahead without feeling intimidated by the human with the intention of killing him (hence stalking).... Let me know if it is not clear still.

  • What do you understand by stalk? Can you use another word or phrase instead so we know what you mean to say, because apparently that's quite another thing. – Kris Nov 4 '14 at 5:28
  • Google images "deer stalker" :) – Fattie Nov 4 '14 at 7:47

The wolf stalked him. Stalking is (a) slow and (b) towards the target so 'forward', 'slowly' and 'towards him' are redundant. However stalking is the act of hunting, and implies sneaking through cover and being unseen, so in your original sentence 'walked' is better than 'stalked' because the stalk is over and the attack is beginning.

  • Right. "stalking" is a word not unlike, say, "chasing" or "tracking." You couldn't really say "he chased slowly forward, one step at a time..." or "he slowly tracked the enemy, forwards, step after step". it's rather like a mass noun, where it's kind of meaningless to break it down to discrete units. nice call, Pauly. – Fattie Nov 4 '14 at 7:30

I think you're going to need at least one comma.

I've also simplified your sentence even more than Pauly sensibly suggested, eliminating everything redundant. (We can assume the reader already knows the wolf would be walking unless you explicitly state that it was leaping / running / crawling etc. Similarly, there is no way for a wolf to growl that would not sound menacing.)

The wolf slowly approached him, growling and flaring its nostrils.

If you want to emphasize the slow speed of the wolf:

The wolf approached him slowly, growling and flaring its nostrils.

  • Hey Erik - do you agree w/ my comment that "stalking" is sort of a "mass-noun-like verb" ? (A mass verb?? non-discrete verb? Perhaps there's a term for that.) – Fattie Nov 4 '14 at 7:31
  • @JoeBlow - I'm not sure whether I quite understand what you're getting at, but if your underlying point is that stalking does not describe a specific mode of locomotion, but rather locomotion in pursuit of prey (most octopuses, millipedes, snakes and wolves all stalk other organisms, but move in different ways), then I would agree with you. – Erik Kowal Nov 4 '14 at 7:44
  • You said it great - of course :) – Fattie Nov 4 '14 at 7:46
  • @JoeBlow - Of course. :) – Erik Kowal Nov 4 '14 at 7:50

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