For an introduction to an essay I'm writing, I say the following:
My hand was shaking. I opened the email, and began to read the first line. I only needed to see those first two words: “We’re sorry.” I excused myself from class and walked down to the restroom. I was alone. It was quiet. I studied myself in the mirror.
I am concerned about overusage of the first-person singular pronoun. Trying to alleviate the problem, I have tried adding the word "although" to the beginning of the third sentence. However, the individual who proofread my work said adding the term was not necessary. Any thoughts on whether or not I should enter/admit the term?