I believe Option 2 in each situation would be proper grammar, although many English-speakers would shift to the first one as casual speech. I do think there is a distinction, though.
Passive voice is essentially used when you don't know who is acting. In the sentence, "Jill gave me an apple," we know Jill did it. In the sentence, "An apple was given to me," the person who gave is not revealed. The second example is passive voice.
Now, let's take a look at the bag/to carry examples. Imagine somebody said, "Pick that bag up for me." It sounds better to me to say, "This bag is too heavy to carry." The second way sounds awkward, because passive voice is unnecessary. We already made it clear that I am carrying the bag, even though it isn't directly stated in the sentence.
You might use the second example when you are a third party (when you are not interacting with the objects in the sentence at all). Imagine you see a baby wailing in a library. You would say, "That baby is too loud to be brought to a library." NOT, "That baby is too loud to bring to a library."
I realize that is confusing, but I hope my point of view might help you begin to understand the distinction.