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Is there a right or wrong way to ask someone to do something? The other day I said to my husband, "Do you think you can fax this paper for me?" He said that was insulting and I should say "Can you fax this paper for me?" Thoughts??

  • Technically, can you fax this paper is still questioning his ability to do something. I think you were polite (and not overly so) in the way you asked. People often use "Do you think you can" instead of "please". Would you please... or would you mind... might strike him as more appropriate perhaps. – anongoodnurse Oct 2 '14 at 20:28
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A- "Do you think " is used for asking someone politely to do something.

E.g.:

Do you think you could pass me my bag?

Do you think you can fax this paper for me?.... is not impolite or insulting.

B- "Do you think " is used for asking someone's opinion

E.g.

Do you think we'll get this finished on time?

And why not keep the request simple and pleasing to the ear.

Please, can you fax....

Can you fax...please.

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    If you get too polite, you risk people will see it as sarcasm - and honestly, I would not take lightly to someone expressing doubts about my ability to use a fax-machine. – oerkelens Oct 2 '14 at 16:12
  • yes, you may be right. "Too humble is half proud. – Misti Oct 2 '14 at 16:59

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