Is the phrase, onto the platforms below… essential, as I feel the sentence doesn’t seem to flow?

The waiting room at Leipzig Central Station was cold. Even the stuttering coal fire burning in a 30’s era fireplace seemed reluctant to continue its futile efforts to warm the passengers waiting inside. Outside on the streets of Leipzig it was raining; the day over caste and grey, the light barely managing to filter down through the soot stained windows in the arched roof overhead, onto the platforms below

  • The comma after overhead seems to upset the flow to me, assuming it's the light that is falling onto the platforms below. – Frank Apr 30 '14 at 11:07
  • The sentence is a little long, but the author is clearly not using a journalistic style. It might flow a little better if the comma preceding onto was removed. – Gary's Student Apr 30 '14 at 11:07
  • Thanks, it does seem a little better without that comma. – user67244 Apr 30 '14 at 11:14
  • 1
    'over caste' should be 'overcast'. – Edwin Ashworth Apr 30 '14 at 11:28
  • Ok. Typo but thanks anyway. – user67244 Apr 30 '14 at 11:36

I don't think it is essential, because you're already "answering" the verb "filter" with the words "down through the soot stained windows in the arched roof overhead." If you didn't have that, the verb "filter" would be objectless and thus wouldn't flow very well. However, because you've already described the action of filtering, I think you could take it out.

However, in my opinion, the clause doesn't really detract terribly from the sentence.

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