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I am proof-reading a short CV that details an employee's volunteer achievements. It will form part of an application for a committee position. The following sentence makes my brain itch, but I am having trouble deciding:

  1. Why it sounds wrong (something with the tense, I think)
  2. How it should be written

I am fortunate to have been named as chair of this board shortly after I joined.

A little help would be appreciated!

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  • Does "I am fortunate to have been named as chair of this board shortly after I joined it." fix the problem? If it does, can somebody explain why? – Peter Shor Mar 17 '11 at 17:01
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    The "as" sounds out of place to me. I think it would be better without it. – John Mar 17 '11 at 17:01
  • @John: good call. It definitely reads better without the "as". – e.James Mar 17 '11 at 17:29
  • Can anyone suggest a better title for this question? There could easily be thousands of questions with the same. – e.James Mar 17 '11 at 21:11
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Perhaps

I was fortunate to be named chair of this board shortly after I joined.

Or, if you don't want to emphasize how lucky you were,

I was named chair of this board shortly after I joined.

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  • Much better! The candidate does want to emphasize their luck, so the first sentence would be my first choice. Thank you. – e.James Mar 17 '11 at 17:15
  • +1, hehe, yes the second is better - modesty can easily be misread – Tom Mar 17 '11 at 17:16
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    @e.James Why, where they actually incompetent, but no-one realised? – Tom Mar 17 '11 at 17:17
  • @Tom: fair point, and quite funny when you put it that way! :) I am doing my best not to modify the meaning of the document. My role is to proof read the spelling, grammar and sentence structure. – e.James Mar 17 '11 at 17:24
  • @Tom: I passed on your interpretation to the author, and he has decided to go with the second sentence. He says thank you :) – e.James Mar 17 '11 at 21:09
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If it is tense/aspect that you are after, then maybe:

I am fortunate to have been named as chair of this board shortly after I had joined.

The simple past of 'I joined' doesn't stick it in sequence very definitively (the 'shortly after' does of course).

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I was fortunate to be named chair of the board shortly after I joined.

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It sounds like you have the worm. This sentence has an overly formal sound to it. Try this:

Fortunately, I became chair of the board once I joined.

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  • +1 for your excellent link, although I feel that your sentence conveys a slightly different meaning from the original. – e.James Mar 17 '11 at 19:09

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