I'm looking for a good metaphor or idiom for a person who is completely uncharismatic. I'm preferably looking for a phrase that compares the person's charisma to something, such that it would fit the pattern "he had the charisma of _". For example, "he had the charisma of dry paint". The phrase would be used to describe a public figure in a satirical and slightly insulting manner.
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Cold fish a person who is very reserved or aloof in manner or who lacks normal cordiality, sympathy, or other feeling; an unemotional and unfriendly person;
Where charisma is a spiritual power or personal quality that gives an individual influence or authority over large numbers of people.
He had the charisma of lawn clippings.
He had the charisma of a block of wood. (John Kerry for example.)
He had the charisma of ... pretty much any inanimate object which is not particularly exciting.
... a log.
... a potted plant. ... etc.
You could get nastier:
... a soiled diaper.
... cow chips.
... a flat tire.
as charismatic as a slug
as charismatic as smegma
as charismatic as pond scum
as charismatic as tofu
as charismatic as vanilla ice cream without the vanilla
as charismatic as an afterbirth
He was a giant yawn in the personality department.
She's a walking Sominex pill.
Jim's last name isn't Lambent, it's Somnolent!
In personality and charisma, Sally is a gaping yawn in a cave of boredom.
If you want to get Mr. Charisma's attention, just say, "Hey Morpheus, rise and shine!"
His charisma is the epitome of lobotomy.
Harold is a walking advertisement for the movie "The Living Dead."