I'm looking for a good metaphor or idiom for a person who is completely uncharismatic. I'm preferably looking for a phrase that compares the person's charisma to something, such that it would fit the pattern "he had the charisma of _". For example, "he had the charisma of dry paint". The phrase would be used to describe a public figure in a satirical and slightly insulting manner.

closed as too broad by David M, RyeɃreḁd, aedia λ, choster, MrHen Mar 27 '14 at 15:03

Please edit the question to limit it to a specific problem with enough detail to identify an adequate answer. Avoid asking multiple distinct questions at once. See the How to Ask page for help clarifying this question. If this question can be reworded to fit the rules in the help center, please edit the question.

  • This is going to depend entirely on the context. Should it be funny? Serious? Light-hearted? Insulting? Something else? You need to fit it into your context, which only you know. – Kevin Workman Mar 25 '14 at 18:13
  • @KevinWorkman Edited. – nitro2k01 Mar 25 '14 at 18:28
  • I think you really want a metaphor. – David M Mar 25 '14 at 18:28
  • @DavidM Good point. Edited again. – nitro2k01 Mar 25 '14 at 18:31
  • Even with your edit, this is still completely dependent on the context, and I don't think it's a question we can answer. It depends entirely on your audience. A group of government officials will have a different definition of satire than a group of sailors. They'll also find different metaphors more effective. We can only tell you that blue and yellow make green, not how to paint a picture of grass. – Kevin Workman Mar 25 '14 at 18:34

Cold fish a person who is very reserved or aloof in manner or who lacks normal cordiality, sympathy, or other feeling; an unemotional and unfriendly person;

Where charisma is a spiritual power or personal quality that gives an individual influence or authority over large numbers of people.


He had the charisma of lawn clippings.

He had the charisma of a block of wood. (John Kerry for example.)

He had the charisma of ... pretty much any inanimate object which is not particularly exciting.

... a log.
... broccoli.
... a potted plant. ... etc.

You could get nastier:

... a soiled diaper.
... cow chips.
... a flat tire.
... cholera.
... etc.



  • as charismatic as a slug

  • as charismatic as smegma

  • as charismatic as pond scum

  • as charismatic as tofu

  • as charismatic as vanilla ice cream without the vanilla

  • as charismatic as an afterbirth


  • He was a giant yawn in the personality department.

  • She's a walking Sominex pill.

  • Jim's last name isn't Lambent, it's Somnolent!

  • In personality and charisma, Sally is a gaping yawn in a cave of boredom.

  • If you want to get Mr. Charisma's attention, just say, "Hey Morpheus, rise and shine!"

  • His charisma is the epitome of lobotomy.

  • Harold is a walking advertisement for the movie "The Living Dead."

  • @SpehroPefhany: Oops! Call it a Freudian slip? I mean Sominex! I'll edit my answer, now. Thanks! Don – rhetorician Mar 25 '14 at 18:58

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