Up through the Early Modern English that the commercial is botching, personal pronouns were:
- I (first person singular)
- thou (second person singular)
- he, she, it (third person singular)
- we (first person plural)
- you/ye (second person plural)
- they (third person plural)
Like other European languages, English speakers took to brown-nosing by addressing higher-ups with the plural "you" (or a phrase with some form of it, e.g. Spanish usted from "vuestra merced", "y'all's grace"), and now "thou" is pretty much gone save for Quakers' "plain speech", the King James Bible, and Renfairs or historical movies. For regular present tense, it's
I [verb], Thou [verb]est, He/She/It [verb]eth, We [verb], You/Ye [verb], They [verb]
In past tense, the "-est" is still around, but again only for second person singular:
"-est" isn't used in imperatives (commands); nobody would say "Lookest over there". (English of the time still kept the three-way division of locations that, for example, Spanish and Japanese still have: "here", near the speaker; "there", near the listener, and "yonder", away from both. That's why it should be "Look yonder" or "Look thou yonder".)
A lot of people trying to, to borrow someone's term, write or speak "forsoothly" take the "eth" or "est" suffix they maybe sort of halfway remember from a movie or a sermon or exposure to Shakespeare in junior high and tack it onto every verb in sight. Examples in advertising (like this Geico ad) abound... though if you want far worse abuse of the language, there's a Progressive insurance ad that is utterly cringeworthy.
BTW, shouldn't it be "Trick the first" instead of "Trick number one"?