Is there a term for your parent's ex-spouse who is not your biological parent?

Question

How would one refer to one's parent's 2nd spouse, whom they have divorced? For example, I have a biological father, and a step-father, but what about the man my mother was married to before my step-father?

I doubt there's a single word for this, but I need some way to refer to him that isn't so cumbersome. Best I have come up with so far is "my mom's second husband", but I feel this really doesn't convey his importance in my upbringing, so I tack on "they were married all the time I was in school", but it's not great.

Answer 1

It's completely appropriate, if you desire, to continue to call him your stepfather if that's what he was. You can have several step-fathers in succession. Simply because you are no longer living with him doesn't erase your relationship with him. Your mother doesn't become your ex-mother when you leave home. Step-siblings are also for life.

If you are not close to him, you can call him your mother's ex.

If Heather can have two mommies, you can certainly have two step-fathers.

Answer 2

You could always use a numbering system. A woman with multiple marriages often says my first husband, second husband,etc. You could say my 1st stepfather, second step father etc. You could also choose a personalized title like “the dad I adopted” that shows they were neither your birth father nor your current step father but still important to you as a parent. I found names helped. I had stepfather Luke, Daddy Ed, my father Kevin,etc which kept them all separate when talking to friends about them without constantly explaining where they fit. I only reserved the title “former step father” for one’s I was happy to not be connected to anymore.