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Does

I don't love you any more.

mean that my love dwindled till there was not any more of it left, focus(s)ing on the process, whereas

I don't love you any longer.

would mean that there came a day when I had to admit my love had ceased to be, focus(s)ing on that day's more or less sudden realisation rather than on the process which led (had led?) to that day?

How alive is the distinction between 'not any more / no more' and 'not any longer / no longer'?

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I would say that there is no longer a distinction between them, where any longer was once more formal.

Any more: the two words are the traditional expression in English and may be preferable for formal writing, particularly in a negative expression when meaning “any longer”. The two adverbs are interchangeable, and you can use them in formal and informal writing.

any more (adverb) any longer I couldn't trust him any more.

The only distinction I would make is when it refers to degree: I don't love him any more than I love her. Clearly any longer is not synonymous in this case.

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  • Your last example has ‘more’ as an adjective by itself, preceded by ‘any’, instead of the monolexemic ‘any more’ (or ‘anymore’, showing its monolexemicity more clearly), so it’s not really fully comparable. You could also use ‘longer’ in that way: “A badminton court isn’t any longer than a tennis court”, for example.
    – Janus Bahs Jacquet
    Feb 9, 2014 at 16:12
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There is really no difference in meaning at all.

Of course if you are writing a romantic love song, then it could be of great significance to the lyric whether you use 'more'(which rhymes with 'on the floor') or 'longer' (which rhymes with 'I feel stronger').

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The usage of the first, 'I don't love you any more,' is for bluntness and finality. It means right now, the love is over. Period.

For the second, "I don't love you any longer,' the better usage is "I can't love you any longer," which is slightly softer, less blunt, and carries the meaning of not being able to project going any further into the future with the relationship.

Also, to say 'I can't love you any longer,' has a tone of vulnerability from the speaker, and almost asks for forgiveness. It's another way of saying, 'I'm not able to love you any more.' It also could point to there being someone else in the picture.

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The first part of your question is probably answered by the Google Ngram in which the graphs for frequency of use in written English for love him any more,love him any longer,love her any more,love her any longer is shown:enter image description here

Your second question is

How alive is the distinction between 'not any more / no more' and 'not any longer / no longer'?

This cannot be answered without context, and you have given none.

1.A: Do you still go to the gym?"

B: Not any more/longer. (correct)

B1: *no more/longer (wrong/archaic/poetic)

2.A: I hear you no longer go to the gym? (correct)

A1: I hear you no more go to the gym? (wrong)

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