What is the best way to phrase and punctuate this type of "this = that" sentence?
No noise was detected, indicating that the room was empty.
No noise was detected, which indicated that the room was empty.
Thanks, EM
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Sign up to join this communityPersonally, I'd use:
No noise was detected, suggesting an empty room.
'Indicates' seems a bit too certain for a mere absence of sound.
Those are both perfectly fine.
I prefer the second just because the first seems to spell things out a little too much, as if assuming the reader must be dim, but in another sentence with the same structure I might prefer it precisely because it spells things out that slight bit more.
Both of your sentences are phrased and punctuated correctly.
Here's a couple of alternatives, removing "that":
No noise was detected, indicating the room was empty.
No noise was detected, which indicated the room was empty.
I prefer the first of these alternatives, since it's a bit simpler (as BlackVegetable mentioned).
which
when the use ofthat
in this sentence seems at least as optional. I might prefer "No noise was detected, indicating the room was empty." from a minimalist perspective.