Which is correct "Do you ever wish (that) you had gone to..?" or "Do you ever wish (that) you went to..?"
They're both correct.
I wish I had gone to... seems to imply that you no longer go to... but you did once.
I wish I went to... seems to imply that you wish you went to... now, instead of where you do go.
Not 100% sure, but I think this is past vs perfect past tense.
To understand what I'm saying, try replacing "went to" and "gone to" with attended. They both work. However, the "Had" before "gone to" implies something that is no longer the case. I had a beer, but I drank it.
It's the difference between "I wish I attended school" and "I wish I had attended school".
- "Do you ever wish you WENT TO (attended) Harvard instead?" - How I would phrase the question to a current Yale Student (Someone who goes to Yale).
- "Do you ever wish you HAD GONE TO (had attended) Harvard instead." - How I would
phrase it to a Yale Graduate. (Someone who had gone to Yale, but doesn't).
- "I attend Yale, but I wish I WENT to Harvard." - How a current Yale
student might say it.
- I graduated Yale, but I wish I HAD GONE to Harvard instead. - How a
Yale Graduate Might say it.
Now try these:
- "I graduated Yale, but I wish I went to (attended) Harvard." - Sounds weird. You wish you went to Harvard now? Or then? Are you looking for a second education?
- " I attend Yale, but I wish I had gone to (had attended) Harvard." - You wish you had attended Harvard when? Before going to Yale?
Yes, they are (sometimes) interchangeable, but the meanings do change subtly.
(Also, no offense to Yale graduates - they were just the first two that came to mind. =o)