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How do I replace F*** while expressing fully my disbelief, anger, etc?

E.g.,

"I think Homer Simpson is incredibly sexy"

My reply "Get out of here! That's f***ing ridiculous."

  • 12
    I would suggest “Fuck”. It makes a great substitute to “F***” for people allergic to asterisks. – F'x Mar 5 '11 at 20:13
  • @F'x Nailed it. Just a joke -> I suppose the apostrophe in your user-name is a substitute for 'u'? ;P – Farhan Anam Jan 8 '17 at 17:32

11 Answers 11

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Well, the most obvious choice would be freaking or effing.

  • You are right. I probably choose your answer as the right one. But I guess I am going to leave this open for a while in case someone offers a creative and funny one. I once heard someone use "Bull Funky" to replace Bulls***. That was funny. – Kim Stacks Mar 3 '11 at 13:12
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    There are quite a few euphemisms of varying degrees of vulgarity and funniness. If you just follow either link and look under "Synonyms", you will find flaming, flipping, fricking — and that's only the tip of the iceberg, if you ask me. It's just that freaking is the most obvious choice, most likely to be understood by Americans, Brits, and non-native speakers alike. I don't think the same is true of, say, flaming (seems to be a UK thing) or even effing (might leave non-native speakers scratching their heads). – RegDwigнt Mar 3 '11 at 13:26
  • Yes I did follow the link for freaking. I like blooming. I am partial to the UK euphemisms. – Kim Stacks Mar 3 '11 at 15:19
  • @keisimone: Are you sure you don't mean bullpucky? – psmears Mar 6 '11 at 10:31
  • @psmears No I really meant bull funky Hah.. I am laughing again with tears down my cheek – Kim Stacks Mar 7 '11 at 2:08
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Besides RegDwight’s excellent suggestions, flaming and frigging are both widely used (respectively more common in the UK and US, I think).

In my family, when I was small, my father would always say “That’s ff… frankly ridiculous,” and so on — going completely over my head at the time, and much to the amusement of the adults around. “Shiver me timbers!” was another favourite exclamation of his, for similar reasons…

It’s easy to vary the subtlety/blatantness of these, and hence to sound completely innocuous to outsiders while ensuring that your friends know what you’re really thinking :-)

  • 1
    I like Shiver me Timbers!! – Kim Stacks Mar 3 '11 at 15:20
  • "Freaking" is also a common one. – Maxpm Mar 3 '11 at 17:47
  • "Fracking" is my favorite. – George Stocker Mar 3 '11 at 20:20
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"Frickin'" As in

Sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams attached to their Frickin' Heads

  • 1
    HAHA. Austin powers reference – Kim Stacks Mar 3 '11 at 15:20
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Since I watched Battlestar Galactica (the new series), I've been using 'frakking' a lot.

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    I hated that word, but +1 for Galactica :-) – Sean Patrick Floyd Mar 3 '11 at 14:10
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Any substitute sounds contrived and ridiculous. If you don't want to swear, simply don't. E.g.:

"I think Homer Simpson is incredibly sexy"

My reply "Get out of here! That's ridiculous."

You see? Just as effective.

  • What's wrong with sounding contrived and/or ridiculous? – Adam Mar 4 '11 at 3:53
2

French Connection UK has made a brand out of their substitute.

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2

Since watching the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox I have been enamoured with cussing.

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Oh, that's easy. Just substitute your least liked bread. I often scream "corn bread!" when I'm frustrated. Some people go with biscuits. Nice thing about English is you can add suffix "ing" to anything.

  • or even "bread basket" – Adam Mar 4 '11 at 3:54
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Along the lines of @mvexel's response I use frakking, but before Battlestar Galatica there was Farscape, and from it I took "frelling" which I use more than "frakking" or the original.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FUBAR

Update:
Verbally I prefer French foutu.
It is, by the way, printable word. One can find it in lyrics, for example, in
Le Temps Des Cathédrales - Bruno Pelletier - Notre-Dame de Paris (comédie musicale)

In internet (chat, twitter, Email) I usually give/insert the link to multi-media "Polar Bear"

See also my related question "How would you substitute English vulgar words in foreign phrases?"

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I agree with JasonFruit's answer, and will add another option:

Get out of here! That's completely ridiculous.

The word completely works here, though not in all contexts. Having to think of an appropriate adverb (or, sometimes, other word) in a given context will provide good exercise for your brain.

  • or absolutely (I think I like completely better though) – Adam Mar 4 '11 at 3:55

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