I emailed a professor at Harvard for graduate study and he said he was nearing retirement and recommended his student working in Minnesota. I was going to reply him. Should I use this as a beginning: "It is a pity for me that I could not have the opportunity to work with you and under you supervision" It feels so weird. Thank you all~
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1Don't use it is a pity for me that unless you want to sound like a stilted Victorian. Just say "I am sorry that" or "I deeply regret that" like everyone else these days.– FumbleFingersDec 23, 2013 at 16:15
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I'm afraid I can't explain why "it is a pity for [someone]" seems to have fallen out of favour over the past century. Perhaps there isn't really a "reason", but I didn't think I could justify posting an actual answer without some kind of rationale. I'll be interested to see if anyone else can provide more info.– FumbleFingersDec 23, 2013 at 18:05
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@FumbleFingers I know that if people translate something that is an idiom in their language to English (and visa versa), the translation will include words that may be common and acceptable in the original language but not the exact synonym we native speakers may use in our culture. "Pity" may be one of those words. You can certainly still say, "that's a pity" in today's world but the OP's "It is a pity for me" sounds like you said, stilted Victorian.– Kristina LopezDec 23, 2013 at 21:14
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@Kristina: It does seem likely that OP isn't a native speaker, but the question text is sufficiently "natural" that I rather doubt he's simply trying to translate an expression from his own language. But it was mainly that "It feels so weird" that stopped me from closevoting as GR (should be on ELL). Any native speaker could confirm that for me is "out of place" here in today's English - but could anybody explain why, given that this apparently wasn't the case 150 years ago?– FumbleFingersDec 23, 2013 at 21:45
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@FumbleFingers, what I have noticed is that we are less likely in our culture, (UK, US) to be as self-humbling as "it is a pity for me" "feels" to me. I would feel insincere and mealy-mouthed to utter such a phrase unless I wanted to overly convey my lowly station...or use it as sarcasm! I have, however, heard other English-speaking cultures use such phrases in recent times.– Kristina LopezDec 23, 2013 at 21:55
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2 Answers
"It's a pity for me" sounds self-absorbed and sympathy-seeking. Better to use "I regret missing the opportunity to..." which better conveys the sense of respect I imagine you wish to convey.
answered Dec 23, 2013 at 21:35
Don't you think he already knows that you might be disappointed he is unavailable as a colleague at the moment?
Maybe you could just say something like, "Gotcha. I most certainly appreciate the recommendation! And if the opportunity to collaborate with you ever arises in the future, I would most certainly love to do so!"
