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I am wondering about the wording of this sentence: Empowering solid decisions by providing transparency of the system landscape and IT processes.

I'd like to ask if "on" can be used in this context as opposed to "of" and which variant sounds better/is more correct. And what about using "... making transparent the system landscape ..." versus "... providing transparency of/on the system landscape...", which one of these alternatives is better? Or am I completely on the wrong track?

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    I don't like either of your prepositions. How about: "providing transparency in", "providing transparency for", or "giving transparency to"?
    – Peter Shor
    Commented Nov 19, 2013 at 13:20
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    Or "Empowering solid decisions by making the system landscape and IT processes more transparent."
    – tinyd
    Commented Nov 19, 2013 at 13:27
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    @Peter Shor: I think that your third suggestion fits very well, thank you!
    – Haris
    Commented Nov 19, 2013 at 14:07
  • @tinyd: That's a good suggestion but I feel that by saying "more transparent" there is an implication that we aren't providing anywhere near full transparency on those topics.
    – Haris
    Commented Nov 19, 2013 at 14:08
  • @Haris - that's a fair point. You could change it to "Empowering solid decisions by making the system landscape and IT processes fully transparent", but Peter's choices are very applicable. As a small note, I would prefer "enabling" to "empowering" in this context, but I'm not sure why :)
    – tinyd
    Commented Nov 20, 2013 at 15:29

3 Answers 3

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I think the reason the prepositions sound strange is because of "providing". Try using "increasing":

Empowering solid decisions by increasing the transparency of the system landscape and IT processes.

Synonyms of "increasing" would also work..

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How about "into"?

Empowering solid decisions by providing transparency into the system landscape and IT processes.

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Since this is a core marketing blurb, I would be more direct and succinct while using a keyword that highlights the novel benefit of your service:

Empowering solid decisions by introducing transparency to the system landscape and IT processes

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