my friend (he's from Europe, white in his 20s) was in the U.S. a while ago and went to a diner a few times. A woman there (in her late 40s, most likely), kept calling him ''honey'' and ''sweetie'' every time he entered the diner. He did not know how to respond and found it polite, but kept wondering if it's not giving him some sort of emasculating treatment at the same time. To be fair, he does have a bit of feminine features, but nothing in-your-face. So, what do you think? Was it just politeness or was that also a show of dominance, some sort of weird flirt, maybe? Cheers!
3
-
5The vocative 'luv' is still quite normal and colloquially-polite-not-flirtatious here in the NW of England. I think that the equivalent 'my lover' is still common in the SW, though I might find it hard not to bat an eyelid for the first few times I encountered the usage. I'm pretty sure 'honey' and 'sweetie' are variations on the theme.– Edwin AshworthCommented Nov 8, 2013 at 10:43
-
@EdwinAshworth : I have been greeted, on more than one occasion, with "Hey, old cock". That never becomes familiar!– SteCommented Nov 8, 2013 at 11:11
-
2Your friend should be thrilled! Getting called "honey" by a waitress in an American diner is a cultural experience like seeing a Geisha in Japan.– DeanCommented Nov 8, 2013 at 19:25
Add a comment
|
3 Answers
Note: I upvoted Ste's answer as essentially correct, but it doesn't cover the specific American aspect to this usage.
It's common to the point of cliche for waitresses in American diners in particular to call the patrons "Honey" or "Sweetie" or "Hon." If I were to take a guess, I'd say it's because diners provide a surrogate family environment, and those are endearments commonly used in American families.
Watch any American movie or tv show with a scene set in a diner, and I'm 100% sure you'll hear the word "Honey" applied to a patron.
No flirtation, show of dominance, emasculation or even special distinction should be assumed, unless that was otherwise reflected in the waitress's voice or behavior.
answered Nov 8, 2013 at 15:30
-
1+1 - If you were to watch a typical British soap opera you would see that barmaids carry the same cliché, perhaps with a wider choice of vocabulary.– SteCommented Nov 8, 2013 at 15:44
-
-
@Gedgar I just knew someone was going to zing me about that 100%! Commented Nov 8, 2013 at 16:59
"Honey" and "Sweetie" are simply terms of endearment, of which there are scores.
In this case, the lady in the diner was just being friendly and I doubt there was even a slight thought about his appearance before the terms were used.
Certainly in my local pub you could hear any of the following and it would be nothing more than a pleasantry.
(pet, love, flower, chick (both genders), honey, babe, darling, petal, treacle, sweetie, my dear, hon/hun, etc.)
-
4+1 @Ste and, moreover, it is a quintessentially American endearment, especially in the mouth of a waitress at a diner! Commented Nov 8, 2013 at 12:54
In 50 years of eating in American diners, I've often heard waitresses use mild terms of endearment such as these. It's not universal practice, but certainly widespread. Geographically, it's less common in the Northeast and most common across the South. It can be heard in other similarly-priced eateries, too, especially those billed as "homestyle" or "country" restaurants.
The practice depends on the gender of the server but not of the patron. As a woman I'm often called "Dearie" or "Hon" by waitresses, but it would seem seem peculiar behavior for a waiter. The likelihood that she will address patrons in such fashion appears to increase with the age of the waitress, the number of years the diner has been in business, and the distance to the nearest urban center.
-
I don’t know about distance to nearest urban center but otherwise your description of this phenomenon is certainly very accurate. Commented Nov 19, 2013 at 5:59