1

For example, can I say:

She doesn't cry very loud. When she cries it sounds like a string of almost inaudible sobs she forcibly wants hold inside.

Can forcibly be used in a case like the one presented above? If not, what's a better verb to use?

5
  • ... sobs she bottles up inside.
    – Jim
    Oct 13 '13 at 5:23
  • 1
    Or sobs she stifles. Oct 13 '13 at 5:31
  • Yes, stifles is better.
    – Jim
    Oct 13 '13 at 5:47
  • Off-topic - asking for writing advice.
    – TrevorD
    Oct 13 '13 at 13:29
  • 4
    This question appears to be off-topic because it is asking for writing advice and would be better asked on Writing.
    – TrevorD
    Oct 13 '13 at 13:29
0

I don't think "forcibly" is correct in the context you provided. In the context you provided, an individual is working to assert her will over an involuntary response. One can do this "forcibly," but it sounds odd when the adverb "forcibly" is used as a modifier for the verb "want." If you forcibly want something, does that mean you actually don't want it?

I think the sentence would be improved by removing either "forcibly" or "want." "When she cries it sounds like a string of almost inaudible sobs she forcibly holds inside." OR "... inaudible sobs she wants to hold inside." Even better in my opinion would be to replace "wants" with "struggles." "... inaudible sobs she struggles to hold inside."

Struggle - strive to achieve or attain something in the face of difficulty or resistance

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.