"I'm a self-employed, nerdy queer girl."
Is that an oxford comma that's omitted, or something else entirely? If it's something else that's omitted, what is it? Why doesn't the oxford comma apply?
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According to Oxford Dictionaries, the serial comma precedes the word and or the word or. Since neither word appear in that description, then it is not the serial comma that has been ommited.
I do think there should be a comma, however, between nerdy and queer, as that is the usual way to list coördinate adjectives. You can tell that these are coördinate adjectives because they can be rearranged:
I'm a nerdy, self-employed, queer girl.
I'm a queer, nerdy, self-employed girl.
To me those carry pretty much the same meaning.
It is possible that these are cumulative adjectives, if you see queer girl as a single unit, or nerdy queer girl as a single unit. You would have to ask the person describing themselves to be sure.
See this Grammar Girl article for more information.