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"I do," said Mr Takeda.

The priest repeated the same question to the bride who/whom gave the same reply.

They exchanged rings and the priest declared them husband and wife.

What should I use in this case, who or whom? How to deal with this kind of confusion in the future?

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    Use "who". Next time, ask yourself whether you'd construct an answer or restatement with "he" or "him". If the answer is "him" use "whom". Here, you would say "he gave the same reply" (I know the genders are not right) so you should say "who". – Tyler James Young Oct 5 '13 at 2:36
  • @Tyler James Young I think I got confused because I thought like: "The one who gave the same reply was her" – janoChen Oct 5 '13 at 2:52
  • If you go that way you're already putting in a "who"! – Tyler James Young Oct 5 '13 at 3:02
  • @Tyler James Young Oh you're right! Can you post your comment as an answer? – janoChen Oct 5 '13 at 3:03
  • No, I'm sure someone will come along with real rules and research with links and stuff. I'm just passing through, and to be honest I'm completely drunk at the moment. – Tyler James Young Oct 5 '13 at 3:07
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"Who" is the subject of a sentence; "whom" the object. "Who told us about that?", "Ask not for whom the bell tolls".

janoChen: "I think I got confused because I thought like: "The one who gave the same reply was her."

If you rewrite it as "She was the one who gave the same reply", it should make sense.

Suppose there are two different people: "She gave her the reply", or "She gave the reply to her" (a little awkward).

After a while, the correct one just sounds right. Have patience, do a lot of reading and listening.

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