13

Because their strange features, even in my own language I find it difficult to decide by what name to call the shoes shown in the image below.

I'm not looking for a technical term, but for a cute and funny name whose meaning, in the right context, elicits a positeve sense of hilarity.

Some terms to which I thought are stilts and * ballasts.

Stilts and ballasts can function as funny words in my language, thus my question is: In the aforementioned sense, do they function in the English language? Or, perhaps, are there more appropriate or even slang terms?


  • 3
    It can be cross-categorized: It's a "sexy high-heel shoe"; it's a sandal; it's a platform; it's a stilletto; it's an ankle-strap pump. But it doesn't have a goldfish. – J.R. Sep 10 '13 at 20:43
  • @J.R. Those goldfish shoes are fantastic. Thank you for proving to me that the internet has everything. – SqlRyan Sep 11 '13 at 2:52
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    @Sql - Actually, I'm pretty sure goldfish shoes predate the internet. – J.R. Sep 11 '13 at 4:12
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    I'd call them "bloody painful" or "feet killers"! :) – Mari-Lou A Sep 11 '13 at 10:22
  • @Mari-LouA How about ridiculous or ugly? – terdon Sep 13 '13 at 23:30
20

Those are platform shoes; see pictures. (I don't know of a funny name for them, except that some similar shoes are called ho shoes .)

Platform shoes with spikes are sometimes called ankle breaker shoes or ankle breakers.

If you refer to shoes like those in your picture as stilts, yes, that will be perceived as humor. Ballasts will not be so perceived, since its usual meaning is as a weight or as a fluorescent light control.

  • If my daughter needed money to buy platform shoes I would be pretty pissed if I saw the picture above! Don't think that is it. – Tom Sep 10 '13 at 19:47
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    I rather thought ankle-breakers were just shoes with really high heels—platformed or not. I’d call the ones in Atsuto’s picture ankle-breaker platforms if anything (or just platform spike heels, as cornbread ninja says). – Janus Bahs Jacquet Sep 10 '13 at 19:49
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    I think ankle-breaker platforms is a good politically correct choice. Stripper shoes would be in the ankle breaker section. I don't have a daughter but if I did I wouldn't care if she wore ankle-breakers as long as they weren't stripper shoes - which is the picture in the question. – RyeɃreḁd Sep 10 '13 at 19:53
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    @JanusBahsJacquet, yes, combination terms like ankle-breaker platforms or platform spike heels will be more precise than just ankle breakers or platforms or spikes. – James Waldby - jwpat7 Sep 10 '13 at 19:57
16

The picture the OP gave. We call those stripper shoes.

And you are damn right I have sources. Put the dollar in my shirt.

And since these particular stripper shoes are black, as suggested by @Janus Bahs Jacquet, dominatrix shoes works here too.

Your grandma wears stripper shoes...

Flickr accepts stripper shoes...

My girl wears stripper shoes...

  • 3
    You may also hear them referred to as dominatrix shoes (or even occasionally dom shoes, though this is more tricky, since there is also a brand of shoes called Dom). – Janus Bahs Jacquet Sep 10 '13 at 19:51
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    @JanusBahsJacquet Yes. I don't know enough about the dom area to know what differentiates the stripper vs. dom shoe but I know they are close. I am big on shoes, that's why I will partake in a strip club every once in a while. – RyeɃreḁd Sep 10 '13 at 19:56
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    I’m not much of an expert, either, but for simple reasons of practicality and ability to move, the mental image I get form ‘stripper shoes’ is always tacky and impossibly high-heeled shoes, but not necessarily platformed ones. The asker’s photo gives an almost exact replica of what my mind conjures up for ‘dom(inatrix) shoes’, though. – Janus Bahs Jacquet Sep 10 '13 at 19:59
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    +1 for the way in which this answer has been substantiated with references. – J.R. Sep 10 '13 at 20:33
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    @AtsutoNagatomo - it can go either way. Depends on the girl. Most girls I know refer to them as that. A person that is "serious" might get offended - but why would that type of person wear these shoes? Also if there was no visual, I can think of nothing else to call them. If you were writing a book and said platform shoes or even ankle breakers, the reader would not think of the shoe in your picture. – RyeɃreḁd Sep 10 '13 at 21:09
8

I would call them platform spike heels. Traditional platforms have, well, a platform under the ball of the foot as well as the heel, like these:

enter image description here

Here is an example of spike heel shoes:

enter image description here

  • Where are the spikes on the image posted by the OP? – Mari-Lou A Sep 12 '13 at 6:50
8

Well, I'm hesitant to mention this but, in the UK at least, they are commonly known as 'fuck-me' shoes. Seriously. Wikipedia will tell you more!

  • 1
    That is the only other term that you could use other than stripper shoes that would actually convey the shoe style. I have heard this used a lot. I'm not going to downvote the platform shoes, but they are explicitly vague/wrong. – RyeɃreḁd Sep 10 '13 at 21:27
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    Instead of pumps, perhaps "pump me" shoes? :) – sfjac Sep 11 '13 at 4:54
  • Outside the UK, too. (Commented above before seeing this - we both felt compelled to allude to references ...) – hunter2 Sep 11 '13 at 9:52
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    There's a little more to these shoes than the usual fuck-me aesthetic. Maybe "fuck-me clodhoppers", to suggest the absurd weight? – Pitarou Oct 24 '13 at 10:16
5

Peep-Toe Ankle Strap Platform Heels? enter image description here

http://prettyplease.us/2012/11/womens-shoes-pump-it-up-different-types-of-high-heels/

  • It's so complicated! – Pitarou Oct 24 '13 at 10:14
2

These are platform shoes, but with a high heel. They are called platform heels.

Also, they are referred to as platform pumps; however, pump shoes (court shoes in Britain) do not necessarily have high heels, so in this usage it is implied that platform pumps are high heel shoes.

2

I'd call those Stilettos, though in looking up examples, that appears to refer more to just that particular type of heel than to the shoes you've pictured, which have a high, thin heel in combination with a platform front. They're really more of a combination stiletto/platform.

1
  • Ankle-breakers
  • Podiatrist's dream
  • Booster-feet
  • Skyscrapers
  • Elevator shoes
  • Miss-takes
  • Heel-tons
  • I'm not entirely sure about the dash and extra s in miss-takes :). – terdon Sep 13 '13 at 23:34
  • I like the "podiatrist's dream". :) – Pitarou Oct 24 '13 at 10:15
0

I believe a funny term would be clod hoppers, or maybe call them a pair of broken ankles? To call them Peacocking Shoes would also be pretty funny, they're super outrageous to attract attention.

  • Where I come from (Yorkshire, UK) 'clodhoppers' refers to big boots or even just big feet. It comes from 'clod' (of turf) being part of a bog: a country person who wears big boots to get around on uneven ground. You would say to a clumsy person "Hey, watch where you're putting your clodhoppers!" - a stereotype of a country person being rough and uncultured and not used to being indoors amongst refined people! Stiletto heels would definitely not be any use in a bog. – Mynamite Sep 12 '13 at 8:43