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Nana travels to America to have a surgery done. One that could put an end to her life-long affliction. But is her problem exclusive of her body? Or is rather a condition more related to her soul?

What word could I use to replace "more related" in the passage above? I think the phrase more related won't have much impact in the reader.

(By the way, is but necessary in the second last sentence)?

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    It should be just "surgery", not "a surgery". "exclusive of her body" doesn't make sense. "But" is fine. Don't really know what you're trying to say. You could put "condition of her soul" - but that wouldn't be related to undergoing surgery. – TrevorD Aug 7 '13 at 13:56
  • There's no need for "done". The surgery itself takes care of that. The last part doesn't seem to be properly connected with the preceding sentence. – Noah Aug 7 '13 at 14:04
  • Plus, it would good to mention what type of surgery she is having. e.g, heart surgery, neck surgery, etc. – Noah Aug 7 '13 at 14:06
  • You could just say "Or is her condition psychosomatic?" since that is the word that means a condition that doesn't have a physical cause – Lawton Aug 7 '13 at 18:52
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I suggest

"Is Nana's affliction merely physical, or could there be an underlying spiritual component?"

Or,

"Is Nana's affliction physical, or could it be more spiritual than physical?"

Or,

"Is Nana's affliction only physical, or could it be related more to her soul than to her body?"

Any of the above could work. The third example, though, includes the words related and more, albeit arranged differently.

  • Thanks! You also suggest removing the BUT? – janoChen Aug 8 '13 at 8:14
  • Not necessarily. That depends on how you want the various pieces to fit together. For example, "To put an end to her lifelong affliction, Nana travelled to America. The question* I kept asking myself was, "Is Nana's affliction purely physical, or could it be more spiritual than physical?" *or, "But the question . . .." – rhetorician Aug 8 '13 at 16:29

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