Idiom criticizing a person who has unsolved problems but tries to give someone advice about them

Question

Is there an idiom or expression that refers to a person who has some unsolved problems and tries to give some pieces of advice to, or guide, others for solving the same problems?

We Iranians have a proverb that literally means

“If a bald man were capable of curing baldness, he would cure himself first!”

This sarcastic proverb implies that “...while someone is incapable of solving his own problems, he is in no position to guide others on how to solve the same problems.”

Examples:

1. Suppose I have made many mistakes in my married life and now I'm in the midst of getting divorced; one day my colleague (person A), who is about to get married, asks my colleagues and me for some advice on how to have a successful married life. When I start giving my opinion, another colleague (person B) might turn and say to person A:

   "Why are you asking Soudabeh? If she really knew how to have a happy married life, she wouldn't be in this situation now; as that old proverb says "if a bald man could cure baldness, he would cure himself first!"

2. There is a country (A) in the region which has been fighting some terrorist groups for some years and has not been successful in destroying them; now its neighbor country (B) is facing the same problem. If country A's leaders try to guide country B's government on how to fight against those terrorists, country B's leader might say "You are not in a position to guide us! If you had been capable of solving this problem, you would have solved it in your own country, if a bald..."

I have found this idiom "physician, heal thyself". Can I use it as an equivalent to that Persian proverb? (Although it seems that it focuses on "defects" rather than the "problems".)

Notes:

• The bald man here refers to the one who has been involved with an inherited baldness or a permanent baldness due to a disease like a ringworm (fungal infection).

• We use this proverb when we are talking to/about our close friends or younger relatives, or to people for whom we don't care about them being offended hearing it (we rarely say it to a really bald person to prevent them taking it personally and getting upset). Also, this proverb is commonly used among politicians and opposing parties as a way of mocking each other for not being able to solve their own problems and yet trying to guide others on how to solve the same problems.

• Using this proverb doesn't mean that the speaker is accusing somebody but just implies that they are not in the position to give advice about the given problem(s).

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Maybe this cartoon gives a better idea. (What is your first impression of that?) Are you ready to go to this dietician? :)

One might reply :"No, I won't. Because if he knew how to treat obesity, he would treat himself first!, as the idiom/ proverb says _____ ."

Actually, I'm looking for something that can be used in this sentence, too (as an equivalent for that Persian proverb).

Answer 1

A similar idiom is: The blind leading the blind

It's used in a situation where someone who is incapable of dealing with a particular circumstance gives advice to another person in the same situation.

Answer 2

There is a quote from the New Testament Bible, Matthew 7.5

You hypocrite! First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Wikipedia

Answer 3

There is a clever proverb, dating back to John Ray's collection of 1678, that expresses a similar idea, from a very different direction:

Bachelors' wives and maids' [that is, childless women's] children are always well taught.

The idea ironically expressed here is that a person without any actual experience tends to imagine that a task that may in fact be quite difficult to perform well is instead straightforward and easy. A wifeless man and a childless woman who are very free with their advice about how to make a marriage succeed or how to raise a child properly are like a bald man who lays down the law about how to make hair grow—except that they may not be aware of their baldness.

But an even more suitable proverb might be one that doesn't exist:

Don't trust a dentist who has bad teeth.

That's because, whereas a bald man may have no control over his baldness, a dentist really ought to know how to preserve his or her own teeth.

Answer 4

Never trust a skinny chef.

springs to mind.

The idea is, if a chef is a good chef, he can't help but eat his own food a lot and gets fat. Whereas a skinny chef doesn't make good enough food to tempt himself to eat it.

Answer 5

I think a similar English idiom is: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Obviously, while good teachers are capable and experienced in doing the work they teach, there is a cynical view that many who take up teaching a profession do so because they have failed to be successful in that profession.

While physician, heal thyself is a related idiom, it assumes that the person is capable of solving their own problems, but unwilling. I think the Iranian proverb casts aspersions on the person trying to solve problems for others — she/he is incapable of solving that problem for themselves.

Answer 6

"The pot calling the kettle black."

Quoted directly from the from Wikipedia article-

As generally understood, the person accusing (the "pot") is understood to share some quality with the target of their accusation (the "kettle"). The pot is mocking the kettle for a little soot when the pot itself is thoroughly covered with it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_pot_calling_the_kettle_black

Answer 7

And Shakespeare addresses it: "If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches and poor men's cottages princes' palaces. It is a good divine that follows his own instructions: I can easier teach twenty what were good to be done, than be one of the twenty to follow mine own teaching." - The Merchant of Venice, Act I, scene 2.

Answer 8

In response to your edit, I would think that "Physician, heal thyself" is perfectly applicable. I first heard it in context with an old Aesop fable. Here it is from "Aesop's Fables: A New Translation" by V. S. Vernon Jones:

The Quack Frog

"Once upon a time a Frog came forth from his home in the marshes and proclaimed to all the world that he was a learned physician, skilled in drugs and able to cure all diseases. Among the crowd was a Fox, who called out, 'You a doctor! Why, how can you set up to heal others when you cannot even cure your own lame legs and blotched and wrinkled skin?' Physician, heal thyself."

Taken like this,the idiom does seem to focus on "defects", but in a normal, day-to-day context it is fine to use it in relation to problems, as problems seem to be more common than defects.

For example, saying "Why are you asking Soudabeh? If she really knew how to have a happy married life, she wouldn't be in this situation now; as that old proverb says 'physician, heal thyself!'" is fine.

Answer 9

I'd suggest,

Look who's talking! or You should talk! or You're a fine one to talk!

(Informal) A phrase that you say to someone when they criticize or give advice on something they do (or are unable to do) themselves.

Answer 10

One common saying (or retort, really) that might be roughly equivalent is:

If you're so smart, why aren't you rich?

It's difficult to find a reference for this in the usual sources, but a web search shows there was a song released in 1951 and performed by Louis Jordan and his Orchestra named "If You're so Smart, How Come You Ain't Rich?" A recording of this song is available on YouTube.

Answer 11

There is a self-explanatory proverb that fits perfectly:

Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.

It is also mentioned in the book A Dictionary of American Proverbs (By Wolfgang Mieder, Stewart A. Kingsbury, Kelsie B. Harder):

31. Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. Vars.: (a) Beware of the advice of unfortunates. (b) Distrust interested advice. Rec. dist.: Miss., N.Y. 1st cit.: US 1948 Stevenson, Home Book of Proverbs. 20c. coll.: Stevenson 21:13.

Many sources say that the origin of the proverb is Aesop and Aesop's Fables is an important work which influenced English language also.

There is another proverb that might be used but it is not common:

When the rats want advice, they never ask the mice.

Answer 12

Having an unhappy marriage (for example) doesn't necessarily mean that you don't know what it takes to have a good one, or that you have no right to give advice on the matter; it may just mean that you (or your spouse) have made mistakes that cannot be overcome. "Experience is the best teacher" is another saying that can be painfully true...

...said the "man who sleeps in his own room alone"...

Answer 13

He should throw no stones, who lives in a glass house.

Which basically normally means "do unto others, as you would have them do unto you", however, it might also be interpreted "don't criticise others unless you are without fault"

Answer 14

Practice what you preach.
Do yourself what you advise others to do.

This is from Matthew 23:3

So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach.

It has a nice alliteration which can lend power to the idiom.

Answer 15

I have sometimes heard people say, mostly literally but sometimes figuratively,

Don't take marriage advice from the divorced.

The idea is very similar to your proverb: if they truly were a wise expert on marriage then they would have had a successful marriage, not a failed marriage that ended in divorce. However there is an added connotation that they might also be a bad counselor because they are bitter and sad about their failed marriage, and so their advice may not be the sort of thing which will guide you well. You may not want this added connotation.

Answer 16

The typical response in Italy when someone gives advice they clearly don't follow is:

da che pulpito viene la predica!

(literally "what a pulpit from which to give a sermon!").

It's not as strong in my opinion, but appears to exist in English according to some dictionaries and titles:

look who's talking

You can always use a calque from Italian!

Answer 17

While quotes relating to specific contexts can be found among the few “Never take advice from … .” quotes out there (e.g., “Never take marital advice from a man who sleeps in his own room alone," from ‘Lizard Tales: The Wit and Wisdom of Ron Shirley’By Ron Shirley via Google Books),

it's also possible to find (or contrive) ones that would be context-neutral, such as

Never take advice from someone who doesn’t have what you want

(from ‘Game Plan: The Definitive Playbook for Starting Or Growing Your Business’ By Warren Barhorst and Rusty Burson via Google Books)

or the slightly more "descriptive":

Never take advice from anyone who is more/(just as) fucked up than/(as) you

(from ‘Golden Success Principles to Live By’ By Izu Godson Udemezue via Google Books)

Answer 18

There used to be an old repartee that went like this: If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?

Seems quite similar to the bald man selling hirsute secrets.

It can also be reversed: If You're So Rich, Why Aren't You Smart?

Answer 19

Practically speaking, topics such as marriage and politics would probably be avoided by spectators if the person clearly being hypocritical. But if someone was being hypocritical about something more mundane like, work advice, dating advice etc or if the people listening were (very close ) friends you might here the following very sarcastic comments:

As if you are one to talk, [because we know you did the same]

Alternatively,

That's rich, coming from you, [because we know you did the same]

Or the classic

Pfft! Whatever!

One that I notice is used, but isn't necessarily obvious why (these days) is:

That's the pot calling the kettle black

If you have a woodfire stove, it doesn't matter if you are the kettle, or the pot, you will end up sooty from the fire (black). But it causes confusion in households where there is natural gas (no soot), or an electric stove or kettle (no fire at all)

Answer 20

"an auto mechanic's wife has the shittiest car"

or maybe

"you're backseat driving, and your hands ain't on the wheel" -Judas Priest lyric

Answer 21

I believe there is a Chinese idiom that goes: "Do not complain about the snow on your neighbour's roof, when your own doorstep is unclean."

It's been attributed to Confucius but hard to be sure.