This is probably because I am American, but to me, the only time quite means anything like extreme is when it is negated. Then it means exactly, entirely, completely; so that not quite means not exactly, not entirely. This is very common, and thisyou don’t have to memorize words that collocate with it because negated not quitequite works with all verbs, adjectives, and adverbscan modify just about anything:
I wasn’t quite ready to do it.
That’s not quite what I intended.
We tried to find other projects to do and never quite managed to pull anything together.
Otherwise, to me, it means markedly, to an unusual degree: He’s quite tall. But quite tall isn’t necessarily as tall as extremely tall.
Quite can mean exactly, entirely, completely even without negation, but then it strikes me as markedlya bit British:
Quite right. / Quite so. (British stock phrases meaning yes, exactly)
I'd quite forgotten I had it. (British)
He knows how busy you are, of course, and quite understood. (oh so very British)
In American English, when quite modifies a verb, it is almost always negated.
Setting aside the negated uses, in American English quite appears most often in: quite different, quite frankly/honestly/simply, quite sure, quite well/good, quite possible/possibly/likely/often, quite surprised, and you’re quite welcome.