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"Who knows?" is the simplest form. I hear it (and use it) regularly.
As @Araucaria says in the comments, Grammar Police is an excellent alternative that conveys the fascistic tendencies of a police state without the genocidal implications.
Pedant comes to mind A pedant is a person who is excessively concerned with formalism, accuracy & precision, or who makes an ostentatious and arrogant show of learning. Wikipedia
This one involves swearing, but there is an extremely common way to express that phrase: "Fuck only knows" or just "Fuck knows"
Fascist (in its informal sense of someone who believes in authoritarian, dictatorial control) is a slightly less-charged term, although it's still fairly charged. Stickler ("a person who insists on something unyieldingly") is a good uncharged term that still carries a solid meaning. Being uncharged, it lacks the ... impact ... of the other terms, but this ...
The literal intended meaning of this phrase is "nobody knows". As an atheist, I don't believe there is a God. Therefore, I can still say "God only knows" because the intended meaning of "nobody knows" logically follows from these premises.
How about "It's anyone's guess"?
If you are from 1950s England, you could say goodness only knows.
A word with an interesting history that conveys a similar meaning is Zealot. Merriam-Webster tells of the Jewish origins of the word whose current definition is: a person who has very strong feelings about something (such as religion or politics) and who wants other people to have those feelings
Go with "freak". A person who is obsessed with a particular activity or interest Examples: Grammar-freak, gym-freak, movie-freak. "Nerd" would be another option. Grammar-nerd; although this implies more of an academic or otherwise studious interest.
A secular phrase to the idiom "God only knows" It's impossible to say. - "God only knows how he managed to find out where I lived." http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/american-english/god-only-knows Another choice woule be "Nobody knows and neither do I". - "God only knows where I've left my keys".
Secular phrase you seek. Quote Yoda you can. Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future..
Determined/resolute person: Determination, resolution: Firmness of purpose; resolve: approached the task with determination and energy. A fixed intention or resolution: returned to school with a determination to finish. also unyielding or tenacious : Not bending; inflexible Not giving way to pressure or persuasion; obdurate. ...
Most people I know are atheists and we happily use "God knows" and "Oh my god", without reverence or irony. Like all language, it's just a term that has universal currency - the archaic reason for why it exists is really just interesting more than important. In the unlikely event that the world reverts back to a place where it's really important that we ...
The word Doggedness comes to my mind. In some situations single-mindedly would also be useful.
You might consider waterbody but it is a less common word and it is often spelled as water body. It covers small bodies of water too but it depends on the context also. A body of water or waterbody is any significant accumulation of water, generally on a planet's surface. The term body of water most often refers to large accumulations of water, such as ...
The most commonly used word would be incest, although technically, incest refers to sex between (close) relatives. However, since a marriage is usually supposed to be consummated (meaning the partners in the marriage do have sex), the word is also applied to marriage. Although incestuous marriage is commonly used, I believe the more correct expression is ...
A humorous, colloquial version playfully ascribes omniscience to a person: Only Chuck Norris knows. In Stack Overflow culture, this would be: Only Jon Skeet knows.
Here's a list which might prove helpful to you. I'm sorry the list comprises more than just one-word expressions of exasperation. "Oh, bother!" "Saints preserve us!" "Give me grace!" "Fiddlesticks!" "Screw it!" "Give me strength!" "Lord!" "I give up!" "Blast!" "For Pete's sake!" "For crying out loud!" "Give me a break!" "Why ...
Google Ngrams suggests that flood plain is the normal spelling, while flood plane is very rare. It was a little more common in the early 20th century, but still a fraction of the frequency of flood plain. A plain is a flat area of land, while a plane is a flat geometric object. Since flood plain refers to land areas, it makes more sense for it to be the ...
Adjectives describe a noun. More positive connotation: impassioned, fervent, wholehearted, unwavering, steadfast, pledged, dedicated, driven Less positive connotation: preoccupied, haunted, obsessed, plagued, consumed, tormented Simile might help: "He was not unlike Pacman in his constant quest for junk food."
Undeflectable, undeterrable and indefatigable use litotes. Unswerving perhaps does too. Compelled or compulsive relate to monomania, an unhealthy drivenness.
Qualified means qualified: somebody (maybe the person speaking) thinks the teacher is qualified: capable of teaching adequately. Credentialed means that the teacher has received some kind of credential: presumably a document from official or recognized organization that professes that the teacher has satisfied some criteria to become credentialed. I'm ...
"Eternal" means that He has no beginning and no end.
You are exploring the Cosmological Argument, which hypothesizes a supreme being who is the "uncaused cause". Synonyms included: The "uncaused cause", The "first cause" The "unmoved mover", and The "prime mover" See also Demiurge (which is typically applied to the concept of a supreme being who created the physical universe and set it in motion, but no ...
I don't want to mischaracterize rich people, but a common slang phrase for going somewhere of inferior "quality" is slumming it: to endure conditions or accommodations that are worse than what one is accustomed to; to visit or frequent a place, esp. an amusement spot, considered low in social status. - TFD
How does "fooling myself" sound to you?
Just FTR, I guess "perfectionist" is the completely straightforward, straight, non-offensive, alternate that is, precisely, the "exact" meaning Lukas E. is after. Grammar Perfectionist Soup Perfectionist etc. IMO "stickler" is the best "fun" way to say it. Again, that precisely implies "spends time correcting mistakes, is offended by slight ...
Consider alienated feeling that you do not belong in a particular society, place, or group Many single parents feel alienated from society. angry and alienated teenagers [Macmillan]
You may also consider 'Outcast' or 'Social pariah'
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