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232

This is an old chemistry pun. The first scientist expected the exchange to go something like Scientist 1: I’d like some H₂O. Scientist 2: I’d like some H₂O, too. which would sound exactly the same as Scientist 2: I’d like some H₂O₂. H₂O₂ is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, of which a glass would be highly toxic.


100

The joke is a play on words [Cambridge Dictionary] on various definitions of murder. A group of crows is called a murder. [Wikipedia] Two is not quite a group, hence an attempted murder. To further beat the joke to death, murder also means homicide, and attempted murder is a crime in British and United States' penal codes. The unusual combination of birds ...


42

They're puns pretending to be similes, which is part of the source of the humour. "Make like" is an American English expression that can mean "behave as though" ("He keeps making like he's the smartest guy in the class, though he's the only one that keeps failing") or "behave in the manner of" ("He camped it up and made like Diana Ross"). For that reason, ...


40

As choster explained, this is a modification of a chemistry joke. I'd just like to add that this is an example of an anti-joke. An anti-joke is typically prepared and delivered in a similar fashion to a regular joke but the climax (the punchline) is realistic, disappointing or depressing. This can still be funny because it can still shock the listener. ...


34

The punning here is obscene. It means If bang cock invaded your booty, would grease help? cock = penis booty = ass grease = lubricant


29

The passage is funny because the Mock Turtle acts as an authority figure but uses abnormal logic and reason. This pretense of authority and twisting of logic are ongoing motifs of Alice in Wonderland. By saying, "we called him Tortoise [ˈtʰɔː təs] because he taught us [ˈtʰɔt əs]", the Mock Turtle claims that this similarity of pronunciation is a valid ...


26

This is a pun that needs to be understood in its context. Although he was a Turtle, his pupils called him a Tortoise, because: 'We called him a Tortoise because he taught us!' said the Mock Turtle angrily: 'really you are....' It's a pun by Caroll. It seems that Americans don't get this pun, because the American pronunciation of "tortoise" differs ...


26

I cannot commend Jon Hanna's erudite answer too highly. I should like to add, however, that the form of the joke probably goes back to a slightly different slang phrase which surfaces in 1908. I first encountered this in two works I was very fond of in my childhood: Mr. Parker rose. "There's nothing more to be done then," he said. "Nothing," agreed ...


22

This isn’t really a joke as such, but it is a pun, centered around a not-often-seen meaning of the word Irish. The OED article on Irish has this in sense A.5.c (adj.): colloq. (somewhat offensive). Of a statement or action: paradoxical; illogical or apparently so. The speaker is presumably talking about boxing and thus a fist blow, but he measures its ...


15

Tortoises are a species of turtle. A tortoise is a turtle. But a turtle is not explicitly a tortoise. In that respect they are the same. However, tortoises are land animals while turtles are amphibious. That's the major difference. Edit: The context above isn't making reference to the tortoise animal. They called him tortoise (pronounced "taught us") ...


12

read it as Seven ate Nine :)


12

A Purim Shpiel By Dan Silverman contains what is unequivocally a pun. Although able to build a profitable medical practice in Kingston’s Jewish quarter, Maimonides could not secure a congregation among the suspicious and inward-looking autochthonous Jewish settlement. He came to soft-peddle his rabbinical wares among the local infirm gentile population, ...


12

The vast majority of times, "no pun intended" is used precisely to draw attention to the pun that was just made. Since the preceding pun may not be readily apparent, it can help the reader go back a few words and catch the pun. Personally I don't use this phrase much, but I'm not a very punny person. If you're actually afraid that something you wrote can ...


10

In this case, the meaning is ambiguous and could mean either of the two you suggested as nothing in the phrase specifies who will be making it. I originally read it as she was leaving to make the coffee, but both are equally plausible. Is there any extra context around it that would clarify? E.g. are they in a location where making coffee is possible?


9

I would suggest "Wazz salon" as in William Shakespeare and the Wazz Salon The pronunciation matches: From Wikipedia Oise (French pronunciation: ​[waz]) is a department in the north of France. It is named after the river Oise. The book is from Oct 1985 Wazz - Urinate - 1980s: origin uncertain; perhaps an alteration of whizz. ...


8

I believe you're talking about a portmanteau, which is where parts of two different words (in this case, "bike" and "-kery", from "bakery") are combined to form a new word. There's a long list of these over on Wikipedia, including such words as "cyborg" ("cy-bernetic" + "org-anism"), "gaydar" ("gay" + "ra-dar"), and "mockumentary" ("mock" + "do-cumentary"). ...


8

'Oxymoron' is probably the word you want.


7

You won't find "eggscruciating" in a dictionary because it's a pun, "also called paronomasia, is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect". For example: Atheism is a non-prophet institution. You can tune a guitar, but you ...


7

It's grammatically correct, and a little humorous, but not a pun: a pun is generally a play on the sound or meaning of a word or phrase. What you wrote is effectively the same as saying: I think the last "valid" example is in fact not. Note the quotes (referring to the original post) and the use of a term such as "in fact" (showing contrast), both of which ...


7

There are a few names for (rhetoric) vices that refer to using wrong words or wrong expressions at wrong places. You are probably looking for acyrologia, An incorrect use of words, especially the use of words that sound alike but are far in meaning from the speaker's intentions. Note: Malapropisms are a kind of acyrologia. or malapropism, A ...


6

You're correct that capitalizing Windows gives away the joke. Since the joke is the whole purpose of the sentence, leave it in lowercase. I'm sure everyone will forgive you for your laxness in the case of one proper noun. You should use the verb is because, in the end, the word windows should be understood to refer to the operating system. So it should be ...


6

Puns go way back to ancient Egypt, and are found in the bible, and as some of the earliest books translated into English, may well be the source of the "first pun in English". Beowulf Beowulf "is one of the very earliest poems in English and its first great literary masterpiece". It was written in Old English sometime between the 8th and 11th centuries. A ...


5

Two ideas came to my mind. One is you could change the word chair to house, since house (esp. "big house") has been used as slang for jail or cell for quite some time. This big house is for the Dark Lord, so he can house everyone. The other idea is more grim; sometimes, The Chair is slang for "the electric chair." And this chair is for the Dark ...


5

This is an intentional misspelling on Kharms' part, as canpolat has shown an hour ago, but is not nonsensical at that. Since I happen to be familiar with Kharms' stories, I can infer what he wanted to achieve by writing эпиграммамы [epigramami] instead of эпиграммы [epigrami] (which is the correct plural dative). Мамы in Russian happens to mean moms ...


5

I find it an interesting question in the sense that it stretches the discussion of just what can and can't be verbed. I am unsure as to the exact evolution of the following, but it seems that "Do you drink coffee first thing in the morning" may have led to "Do you 'do' coffee first thing in the morning?", which would be understandable (even if quite ...


4

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slang_terms_for_money: ...the $20 bill [can be referred to] as a "double sawbuck," or a "Jackson"


4

It is an example of ellipsis. You are eliding the word valid at the end of the sentence “I think the last valid example is not valid.” It is perfectly grammatical. It might be considered a kind of use–mention distinction pun if you had put the word valid in quotation marks, as in I think the last “valid” example is not. Here, the first instance of the ...


4

Both qualify as puns. I think you meant to say, "those two pears are a pair of green balls." The first case is an example of paronomasia--wordplay that is based on homophonic or near-homophonic resemblance. The words pear and pair are exact homophones, as are whole and hole, words that sound alike, but are spelled differently and mean different things. A ...


4

I'd suggest taciturn: : temperamentally disinclined to talk or even closemouthed: : cautious in speaking : uncommunicative; also : secretive


4

I think @Unreason's answer is fantastic, especially catachersis. These kinds of errors could be considered solecisms, but the pun-like element is an interesting twist. Generally, puns are understood as intentional wordplay. Here, there's a tension between an inadvertent mistake, and an outcome which has a double-meaning, or can be understood as being as ...



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