This tag is for questions regarding the polite use of words or phrases.
59
votes
9answers
12k views
Can “thanks in advance” be considered rude?
Some argue that because “thanks in advance” is written before any help has been offered, it adds an expectation of help and thus can be considered presumptuous.
Is this reasonable? Would it be ...
50
votes
13answers
6k views
Is there a polite alternative to “No thanks, I'm full”?
English is not my native language, but when I was studying in the US, I was always trying to find an alternative to
I'm full!
I felt that it was a very improper way to express that I have eaten ...
47
votes
16answers
38k views
How do native English speakers respond to “Thank you”?
In my school and university I was taught to say "Not at all" or "Don't mention it" in response to "Thank you!". Now I rarely hear these phrases used, but rather something like "You're welcome", "It's ...
29
votes
8answers
9k views
“Toilet”, “lavatory” or “loo” for polite society
My friend is trying so hard to fit into polite society, and is raising her child to say loo rather than toilet. I know it should be lavatory (and I would not say lav) but we are in the 21st century ...
24
votes
16answers
10k views
Polite synonyms for “a——hole-ish” behavior
Are there any polite synonyms for asshole-ish behavior? A good synonym would probably have about the same impact and wouldn't send people looking for their dictionaries.
23
votes
12answers
20k views
Are greetings and salutations redundant in an e-mail?
Do I really need to write my email this way?
Hi John,
[My Message here]
Regards, Jane
The email header already includes the to and from. The recipient should not be confused by who the ...
21
votes
6answers
16k views
When do I use “can” or “could”?
When should I use can? When should I use could?
What is right under what context?
18
votes
10answers
3k views
Is “Yankee” derogatory?
I have heard of the term "Yankee" often referring to people in the Northern U.S. by Southerners. My question is: is this term considered derogatory or offensive and should it be avoided in formal ...
18
votes
5answers
12k views
“My friends and I” vs. “My friends and me” vs. “Me and my friends”
I've always been taught to put myself last when referring to myself in the same sentence as others but the usage of "me and..." seems to be everywhere these days. The misuse of the word "me" instead ...
17
votes
7answers
13k views
What is the meaning of “don't mention it” (in response to “thank you”)?
I read at several places that "don't mention it" is equal to "you're welcome". But for me, the word means something like "don't go around talking about this to anyone". So what is the real meaning of ...
17
votes
6answers
17k views
How should I ask for a bill in a restaurant politely?
I used to say check please, but my English teacher said that it's wrong, and the proper way is to say something like bill please.
What's the truth?
16
votes
19answers
7k views
What is a less offensive synonym for “retarded”?
I occasionally use "retarded" when chastising myself or other friends. I know it's not Politically Correct, but am I only allowed to say stupid? How long before we can't say that anymore?
Other ...
16
votes
10answers
2k views
Is “chubby” offensive?
I said to a person that she is "chubby" and, apparently, she took it very seriously. What I meant to say is that she's not skin and bones... some more pounds than needed but, precisely because of ...
16
votes
4answers
5k views
“you” versus “You” as polite form of writing
Is it correct to write "You" with a capital Y as a form of politeness?
If yes, should I use that form throughout the entire letter/document, or only at specific places?
15
votes
5answers
3k views
How should I address a professor in the US?
I am always puzzled about how students address a professor in America. Perhaps "Professor + Last name" is the most formal way to do. Here are my questions:
What if the last name of a professor is ...
14
votes
9answers
4k views
What does “No Thanks!” mean?
Alice: Do you want some cookies?
Bob: No thanks!
Does it mean that Bob doesn't want cookies but still is thankful or its just opposite of thanks?
14
votes
6answers
2k views
What is the correct form of address for a police officer?
How should one address a police officer in English speaking countries? More specifically, in a non-emergency situation—asking directions for example—what is the expected form of address used to call a ...
14
votes
2answers
545 views
Tendency of using pronouns 'she/her' when talking about a random person
Reading different specifications and manuals I've noticed that more often and often pronouns she or her are being used when some unknown person's behavior is described.
For example: "when user opens ...
13
votes
6answers
5k views
What’s wrong with saying “Have a nice day”?
I once read the book Class: A Guide Through the American Status System by Paul Fussell. There, he mentioned that saying “Have a nice day” was a faux pas, without elaborating why.
I’m not American, ...
12
votes
6answers
4k views
What is a less offensive synonym for “hypocrite”?
Is there a word that describe a person who doesn't "practice what they preach"? Basically, is there a synonym for "hypocrite" that carries less pejorative connotations?
For example, let's say a ...
12
votes
7answers
958 views
Is it appropriate to call a British person a “Brit”?
Specifically, is it appropriate for a non-British person to call a British person a "Brit"? Whenever I see it from an American source it always feels too familiar or too informal, or both. But I can't ...
12
votes
4answers
592 views
What are exchanges like “How are you,” “I'm fine,” and “See you later” called?
Some verbal/written exchanges convey almost no meaning but are part of the protocol of conversation. For example, somebody greets you with "How are you?" and they're not usually not listening for ...
12
votes
4answers
620 views
How to ask a knowledge question without causing offence?
By "knowledge question", I mean any sort of question intended to check whether the listener already knows the answer or not. For example:
Are you familiar with how an operating system works?
Do you ...
11
votes
5answers
5k views
Popular alternatives to “thank you”
The context for my question might be a bit strange.
I have stuttering and therefore I have some difficulties pronouncing some words starting with particular phonetics. And I've found that if a ...
11
votes
2answers
13k views
In what cases should I use a comma after “please”?
As far as I can see from different texts, there seems to be no strict rule about putting comma after "Please" when it is used as an introduction to a request. Am I right?
In what cases using comma ...
10
votes
3answers
3k views
How do I ask a question politely?
When I was growing up, if I ever said something similar to "Can I go to the store with Joe?", my mom would correct me with "May I go to the store with Joe?".
Is "May I?" the typical way to ask a ...
10
votes
6answers
539 views
Will some parents be offended when being asked, “Is it male or female?”
If I ask the parent about a baby's gender, will it be impolite or not appropriate to say, "Is it male or female?"
Is there any subtle difference, in terms of politeness, among
"Is it a boy or ...
10
votes
7answers
2k views
When is it appropriate or disrespectful to refer to someone as “she”?
My boss has asked me not to refer to her as she because she says it's disrespectful. After I refer to her by her proper name or by her title, isn't it appropriate to refer to her as she?
9
votes
1answer
765 views
Is there any situation where I should use ‘Thank you’ instead of ‘Thanks’?
The EL&U’s archives told me ‘thanks’ is slightly more informal than ‘thank you’. I’d like to get a little more specific info.
I’m now reading Harry Potter series and came across the following ...
9
votes
2answers
385 views
How should one address a police officer in the US? [duplicate]
Possible Duplicate:
What is the correct form of address for a police officer?
What is the correct way to address a police officer in the US in a non-emergency situation (such as asking ...
9
votes
3answers
22k views
What is the meaning of “I am humbled”?
From a recent article on CNN:
Aboukhadijeh, who is from Sacramento, California, said he's been blown away by how quickly his tool went viral and is grateful for all the supportive feedback.
...
8
votes
10answers
7k views
Polite way to refuse to answer a question
It sometimes happens that I am asked a question which I am uncomfortable answering for a variety of reasons (it invades my privacy, the answer may hurt the person asking, it is painful for me to ...
8
votes
6answers
2k views
Response to “God Bless” when parting company
What should the correct response be (from someone not overtly religious) if someone says "God bless" when parting company?
"Bye now" or "Bye" doesn't seem an adequate response.
8
votes
3answers
1k views
Why is “bloody” considered obscene in the UK but not in the US?
Why is the word bloody considered obscene in the UK but not so in the US?
8
votes
1answer
4k views
Politely asking “Why is this taking so long??”
I am trying to write a business email and, as English is not my first language, I'm having a bit of trouble coming up with a really polite way of saying the following:
Hi, It's been a week since I ...
8
votes
5answers
853 views
Is “IMHO” a rude thing to say (or type)?
The initialism1 IMHO stands for "in my humble opinion". It's commonly used in text-based communication (chat clients, forums, popular Q&A platforms). Here's an example:
Person A: What do you ...
7
votes
9answers
683 views
Is saying “who cares” impolite or rude?
Two people are talking about what tasks should be finished on time, and what tasks should be put off until later. The conversation was like below:
A: I don't think those tasks are important. We ...
7
votes
7answers
14k views
Should I say “have a good night” at 5:00 PM?
We're off work at 5:00PM. I've never tried to say "have a good night" at this time of day. In fact, I wouldn't even say it at all unless I'd like to say it to someone who is heading to bed.
When I'm ...
7
votes
8answers
566 views
A polite substitution for “lamer”
Is there a polite word that can be used to designate someone who didn't really understand what he or she was doing? Or, in general, someone who is intentionally ignorant of how things work. A "lamer" ...
7
votes
4answers
3k views
Proper answer to “excuse me”
What is a proper reply for excuse me? Like for thank you, you can say no problem or welcome.
I don't know what a proper reply for excuse me would be.
7
votes
5answers
11k views
Is it acceptable to drop the comma in “Thanks, John”? [duplicate]
I grew up learning that the comma must be placed there, but it seems like an unnecessary interruption in a phrase that isn't ever spoken that way.
7
votes
6answers
6k views
Madam vs. Ma'am
I suspect that the answer to this depends on region, so insights from multiple areas would be beneficial:
It has been my impression that in the US addressing a woman as "Madam" is considered ...
7
votes
4answers
984 views
Is there a word to describe female between 'girl' and 'woman'?
I've been trying to find a word that describes someone that's older than a 'girl' but not yet a 'woman'. It seems the connotation of girl is an immature female that's still growing up. Whereas a woman ...
7
votes
2answers
17k views
Is “nice to meet you” an appropriate online salutation?
When one makes a new acquaintance with somebody in person, you may say "it was nice to meet you", e.g. when you leave. What if you make a new acquaintance over the internet, what do you say when you ...
6
votes
5answers
1k views
Is it rude to call a gay person “homosexual?”
I was talking to one of my co-workers today. We have two homosexual persons in our office. I forgot one's name, so I asked my co-worker, "What's his name?" My co-worker said "Who?", and I replied, ...
6
votes
7answers
3k views
Is “Can I have a cup of coffee?” polite?
Is "Can I have a cup of coffee?" polite? What if I ask a store employee, "Can I have something?"
6
votes
4answers
1k views
Is “not at all” still alive and doing well?
I was taught to use "not at all" as a rather polite, standard reply to "thank you".
However, I don't see it being used at all nowadays. Can I still use it? Would it
be widely understood? Should I be ...
6
votes
4answers
5k views
Is either “can” or “could” more polite? [duplicate]
Possible Duplicate:
When do I use “can” or “could”?
I wonder which of the following is more polite:
Can you please change my email address?
Could you please change my email ...
6
votes
3answers
4k views
“May I ask if…”
A question like:
May I ask if you've seen it all?
Can yield two answers:
Yes, I've seen it all.
Yes, you may ask.
Can you avoid this (the may-answer), remaining a tad more polite than usual?
...
6
votes
3answers
11k views
“Thank both of you”
Is there a trace first person pronoun before the utterance "thank you", making it shorthand for "I/we thank you"?
A ramification of this question is an expression of gratitude I just heard that ...
