This tag is for questions regarding the polite use of words or phrases.
18
votes
5answers
12k views
“My friends and I” vs. “My friends and me” vs. “Me and my friends”
I've always been taught to put myself last when referring to myself in the same sentence as others but the usage of "me and..." seems to be everywhere these days. The misuse of the word "me" instead ...
21
votes
6answers
16k views
When do I use “can” or “could”?
When should I use can? When should I use could?
What is right under what context?
47
votes
16answers
38k views
How do native English speakers respond to “Thank you”?
In my school and university I was taught to say "Not at all" or "Don't mention it" in response to "Thank you!". Now I rarely hear these phrases used, but rather something like "You're welcome", "It's ...
11
votes
2answers
13k views
In what cases should I use a comma after “please”?
As far as I can see from different texts, there seems to be no strict rule about putting comma after "Please" when it is used as an introduction to a request. Am I right?
In what cases using comma ...
4
votes
5answers
3k views
Is “grammar nazi” politically correct?
I'm not a native English speaker and I'm puzzled where the use of grammar nazi would be appropriate.
I have seen it numerous times around the SE network and was wondering when the use would be ...
16
votes
19answers
7k views
What is a less offensive synonym for “retarded”?
I occasionally use "retarded" when chastising myself or other friends. I know it's not Politically Correct, but am I only allowed to say stupid? How long before we can't say that anymore?
Other ...
29
votes
8answers
9k views
“Toilet”, “lavatory” or “loo” for polite society
My friend is trying so hard to fit into polite society, and is raising her child to say loo rather than toilet. I know it should be lavatory (and I would not say lav) but we are in the 21st century ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views
Is “not at all” still alive and doing well?
I was taught to use "not at all" as a rather polite, standard reply to "thank you".
However, I don't see it being used at all nowadays. Can I still use it? Would it
be widely understood? Should I be ...
14
votes
2answers
545 views
Tendency of using pronouns 'she/her' when talking about a random person
Reading different specifications and manuals I've noticed that more often and often pronouns she or her are being used when some unknown person's behavior is described.
For example: "when user opens ...
5
votes
6answers
410 views
Is it always appropriate to reciprocate when asked “How are you?” [closed]
This question is related to When someone asks how are you, are you supposed to answer, "Good," or "Fine," and ask back?. There, the answer by z7sg Ѫ claims it is sometimes appropriate not to ...
16
votes
4answers
5k views
“you” versus “You” as polite form of writing
Is it correct to write "You" with a capital Y as a form of politeness?
If yes, should I use that form throughout the entire letter/document, or only at specific places?
14
votes
6answers
2k views
What is the correct form of address for a police officer?
How should one address a police officer in English speaking countries? More specifically, in a non-emergency situation—asking directions for example—what is the expected form of address used to call a ...
4
votes
3answers
1k views
Can “Sure” be used to respond to “Thanks”?
I often hear "Sure" in response when I say "Thank you" or "Thanks" to someone. I don't know — is this correct usage? If it is considered good, I'll use it someday.
7
votes
8answers
568 views
A polite substitution for “lamer”
Is there a polite word that can be used to designate someone who didn't really understand what he or she was doing? Or, in general, someone who is intentionally ignorant of how things work. A "lamer" ...
6
votes
4answers
5k views
Is either “can” or “could” more polite? [duplicate]
Possible Duplicate:
When do I use “can” or “could”?
I wonder which of the following is more polite:
Can you please change my email address?
Could you please change my email ...
3
votes
5answers
2k views
When is Mr/Mrs appropriate?
I often receive business emails starting with "Dear Daniel..." or "Hello Daniel..." although I haven't been into contact with the sender before. As an Austrian citizen (thus german speaking) this is ...
7
votes
5answers
11k views
Is it acceptable to drop the comma in “Thanks, John”? [duplicate]
I grew up learning that the comma must be placed there, but it seems like an unnecessary interruption in a phrase that isn't ever spoken that way.
6
votes
5answers
1k views
Is it rude to call a gay person “homosexual?”
I was talking to one of my co-workers today. We have two homosexual persons in our office. I forgot one's name, so I asked my co-worker, "What's his name?" My co-worker said "Who?", and I replied, ...
4
votes
4answers
15k views
What's the deal with “thank you kindly”?
Other questions on this site have established that kindly can be used as a sort of please. This usage was in my mind when someone said "Thank you kindly" to me, but "thank you please" doesn't make ...
4
votes
4answers
1k views
Are “Conditional apology” and “poisoned apology”, rude?
I've heard
I'm sorry your frog is dead.
I'm sorry if your frog's death causes you pain.
I'm sorry my taunting you about your frog's death caused you pain. You should seek therapy.
Do the ...
4
votes
5answers
2k views
“Good night” or “good evening”?
If it's 7:30pm, which of these phrases is correct, Good night or Good evening?
1
vote
3answers
692 views
Dear Dr. vs Hi vs none in E-mail communication [closed]
I am in contact with the my doctor by email. We exchange about 3 messages per week, today we exchanged 2 messages. Now I have a situation where I think it is a bit silly to write each time Dear Dr. ...
59
votes
9answers
12k views
Can “thanks in advance” be considered rude?
Some argue that because “thanks in advance” is written before any help has been offered, it adds an expectation of help and thus can be considered presumptuous.
Is this reasonable? Would it be ...
50
votes
13answers
6k views
Is there a polite alternative to “No thanks, I'm full”?
English is not my native language, but when I was studying in the US, I was always trying to find an alternative to
I'm full!
I felt that it was a very improper way to express that I have eaten ...
7
votes
2answers
17k views
Is “nice to meet you” an appropriate online salutation?
When one makes a new acquaintance with somebody in person, you may say "it was nice to meet you", e.g. when you leave. What if you make a new acquaintance over the internet, what do you say when you ...
15
votes
5answers
3k views
How should I address a professor in the US?
I am always puzzled about how students address a professor in America. Perhaps "Professor + Last name" is the most formal way to do. Here are my questions:
What if the last name of a professor is ...
5
votes
2answers
4k views
How do I ask for advice politely?
I came across the following phrase:
I was wondering if you might be able to give me some advice.
Is it a natural construction for a conversational context?
Can I use the following instead in ...
10
votes
6answers
539 views
Will some parents be offended when being asked, “Is it male or female?”
If I ask the parent about a baby's gender, will it be impolite or not appropriate to say, "Is it male or female?"
Is there any subtle difference, in terms of politeness, among
"Is it a boy or ...
5
votes
2answers
10k views
When do I use a question mark with “Could you [please] …”
A sentence like
Could you please pass me the pepper shaker
is not really a question. Should I use a question mark or a period to end this sentence? What about:
Could you let me know when ...
17
votes
7answers
13k views
What is the meaning of “don't mention it” (in response to “thank you”)?
I read at several places that "don't mention it" is equal to "you're welcome". But for me, the word means something like "don't go around talking about this to anyone". So what is the real meaning of ...
8
votes
1answer
4k views
Politely asking “Why is this taking so long??”
I am trying to write a business email and, as English is not my first language, I'm having a bit of trouble coming up with a really polite way of saying the following:
Hi, It's been a week since I ...
5
votes
3answers
30k views
“Could you please” vs “Could you kindly”
I am a non-native speaker of English. When communicating with a professor, would it be better to use could you kindly send me the document or could you please send me the document? I know both are ...
5
votes
2answers
3k views
“Thanks” or “thank you”?
Which one is correct — "Thank you Jim" or "Thanks Jim"?
If I start an email with the sentence "Thank you Jim" in Outlook, it shows grammar error while if I begin with "Thanks Jim" it doesn't.
5
votes
5answers
560 views
What do I have to say when I enter into a house?
In Italy when you want to enter inside the house of a stranger or also of a friend you knock at the door and say, "Permesso?" meaning, "Can I enter?" or "Do I have the permission to enter in your ...
16
votes
10answers
2k views
Is “chubby” offensive?
I said to a person that she is "chubby" and, apparently, she took it very seriously. What I meant to say is that she's not skin and bones... some more pounds than needed but, precisely because of ...
12
votes
7answers
959 views
Is it appropriate to call a British person a “Brit”?
Specifically, is it appropriate for a non-British person to call a British person a "Brit"? Whenever I see it from an American source it always feels too familiar or too informal, or both. But I can't ...
10
votes
3answers
3k views
How do I ask a question politely?
When I was growing up, if I ever said something similar to "Can I go to the store with Joe?", my mom would correct me with "May I go to the store with Joe?".
Is "May I?" the typical way to ask a ...
9
votes
1answer
767 views
Is there any situation where I should use ‘Thank you’ instead of ‘Thanks’?
The EL&U’s archives told me ‘thanks’ is slightly more informal than ‘thank you’. I’d like to get a little more specific info.
I’m now reading Harry Potter series and came across the following ...
8
votes
10answers
7k views
Polite way to refuse to answer a question
It sometimes happens that I am asked a question which I am uncomfortable answering for a variety of reasons (it invades my privacy, the answer may hurt the person asking, it is painful for me to ...
7
votes
6answers
6k views
Madam vs. Ma'am
I suspect that the answer to this depends on region, so insights from multiple areas would be beneficial:
It has been my impression that in the US addressing a woman as "Madam" is considered ...
7
votes
4answers
3k views
Proper answer to “excuse me”
What is a proper reply for excuse me? Like for thank you, you can say no problem or welcome.
I don't know what a proper reply for excuse me would be.
3
votes
3answers
559 views
What is the polite way to acknowledge a pregnant lady after a long hiatus? [closed]
I knew her well, but I see her again when she's 7-months pregnant. Do I say, "Congrats on the upcoming baby?"
2
votes
3answers
231 views
Quoting poor English in a news article? I don't often see “[sic]”
I don't stumble upon "[sic]" as I read newspapers. I think it's safe to assume that plenty of those who are quoted in articles have botched their grammar more often than not. Here's what I'm asking:
...
1
vote
2answers
112 views
Can I ask a practical question like this “how am I supposed to know something”
Lets say I am working on a project with 2 other people and there is some information that I need to work, so Can I ask like this:
Can you please tell me "How am I supposed to run this script?".
...
1
vote
1answer
335 views
Is it impolite to say “me” first? [duplicate]
Possible Duplicate:
Should I put myself last?
“Me and my wife” or “my wife and me”
Having been raised with German as my first language, my parents took very much ...
0
votes
0answers
45 views
Which form of address in motivation letter? [duplicate]
I am writing a motivation letter for a university in London, and I wanted to know which form of address is common?
Dear Sir or Madam
To whom it may concern
Thanks in advance.
0
votes
2answers
268 views
What is the courteous alternative of “Do you understand what I say?”? [duplicate]
Possible Duplicate:
“Does it make sense?” or “Do you understand me?”?
"Do you get me?", "Do you get my point?", etc?
What is the courteous alternative of "Do you understand what I say?"?
0
votes
1answer
2k views
Etiquette of using the wrong sign-off in a formal letter? [closed]
I just sent a formal business correspondence to a company via email. The letter starts with "To Whom It May Concern", but I rather clumsily used the wrong sign-off (Yours sincerely). How much of a ...
-2
votes
3answers
1k views
