Questions about humorous expressions, jokes, puns, etc.

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What does “The computer programmer says the glass is full-empty” mean?

There is a famous expression: The glass is half empty or half full, depending on whether you are a pessimist or optimist. There is a twist on this theme for computer programmers The computer ...
0
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0answers
43 views

Name for this particular type of joke

One of my favourite jokes ever is a really simple question and answer and it goes as follows: Q: How do you terrify a Northern Irishman? A: Tell him the end of the world is nigh This is ...
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0answers
196 views

McFlono McFloonyloo: what does that means?

I'm a big fan of The Big Bang Theory, and I never understood a joke in the S01E07 - The Dumpling Paradox, where Leonard tries Howard's phone voice recognition saying "Call McFlono McFloonyloo" and it ...
2
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1answer
104 views

Please, explain the joke about a walkie talkie

Q. What do you get when you cross a parrot and a caterpillar? A. A walkie talkie. What feature of caterpillars was chosen to create this joke? As far as I know a walkie talkie is a device with ...
3
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3answers
70k views

What do you call two words that contradict each other in a sentence?

I'm having trouble as to what you call two words that contradict each other. For example, "That was weirdly normal." I think this kind of word play is used in puns and jokes. But I do not know how you ...
63
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2answers
13k views

Why is this joke about elephants and quarts funny?

There is a joke: Q: What is grey and comes in quarts? A: An elephant. Why? Why does it come in quarts? What is funny here?
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1answer
78 views

Anne Boleyn had a brother called Tenpin

Anne Boleyn had a brother called Tenpin Can someone explain this joke? It probably has some sort of colloquial meaning I'm missing or some way of pronunciation that makes it funny. I've found this ...
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5answers
1k views

What does “I don't suffer from insanity” mean? [closed]

I'm pretty confused about a quote I've read on a website. It was written: I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. I'd like to know what it really means when a person says this....
4
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2answers
190 views

“Changing threat level to Magenta” (SNL) - What is the “Magenta” joke?

I was watching "Cold Opening: Homeland Security - Saturday Night Live". I am supposed to translate the entire sketch for my next classes, but I really don't know what is the joke here. I only know ...
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1answer
119 views

Bart Simpson prank calls [closed]

Let's have some fun :). A few days ago, I looked on Youtube to hear the prank calls in English, and found this video. I posted a comment there listing the pranks in the video. Here is a list of the ...
0
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1answer
83 views

What it means “Decisions in 10 minutes or less, or the next one is free.”?

What does this quote means "Decisions in 10 minutes or less, or the next one is free."? From: http://news.microsoft.com/2000/02/16/the-motivator-behind-the-windows-2000-development-team/ The next ...
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2answers
169 views

What is a Joke? [closed]

I looked up the definition of a Joke on Dictionary.com which gave me this "Something said or done to provoke laughter or cause amusement, as a witticism, a short and amusing anecdote, or a ...
5
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1answer
57k views

Origin of “deez nuts”

I really hate to ask this one, but... When I was a child, some thirty plus years ago, there was a popular juvenile game where you would try to trick a friend into asking a question that could be ...
3
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2answers
124 views

What do I say if I mix something up?

In Russian, when a person mixes something up, they can jokingly say "mixed it up with the right angle" (перепутал с прямым углом). This comes from an old joke: "Water boils at 90 degrees." "...
2
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3answers
168 views

Is there a way to clearly identify text meant in jest? [closed]

In written text, it can be difficult to convey the appropriate sentiment. For example, if I tell someone to "go fly a kite", I could say this with a smile and/or wink in person and they would know I'...
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2answers
3k views

What does the sentence “say hello to karma” mean?

It's a part of a Dilbert's strip you can find here: I understand every word. But not the joke as a whole. Can you explain the irony?
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1answer
170 views

North American joke: “What do you call Halloween boner?'”

I searched everywhere to find out what this joke means: "What do you call a Halloween boner?" "Petrified wood!" Wood is probably slang for boner. Maybe erectile dysfunction, but I still don't ...
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2answers
126 views

What is a work-appropriate “small” object for a joke? [closed]

Trying to think of a way to make this joke work-appropriate. "If we store GPS coordinates to a precision of 10 decimal points, we could even measure the size of your [expletive deleted]." What is ...
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2answers
981 views

“That's bang out of order”: pun, anagram or play on words?

There is a one-liner by Tim Vine, a British stand-up comedian, that sees him pull out a card with the word... BNAG and exclaim: That's bang out of order! The joke is derived from the idiom ...
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1answer
128 views

“You can call me Charlie. But do not call me late when there are scones about.”

What is the joke in the following sentence from the Simpsons,season 17 episode 15. You can call me Charlie. But do not call me late when there are scones about. by Ricky Gervais, English ...
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1answer
136 views

Why did a chicken cross a road? [closed]

To get to another side. Can we conclude from the indefinite article "an" in "another" that the chicken did not have a definite plan in mind?
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3answers
12k views

Hidden meaning in “Got milk?”

I often see question "Got milk?" in ads related to milk and milk products. Does it have any hidden (maybe "Urban Dictionary" kind of?) meaning, any humorous/playful allusions in popular culture, ...
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2answers
252 views

Can someone please explain this joke? [closed]

Can someone please explain this joke to me http://bash.org/?5300 ? I don't get it, probably because of low english skills. [Spoiler used so it doesn't appear on the front page.]
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1answer
256 views

I don't get this joke [closed]

Isaw it on instagram and I don't get the joke or pun, it said, me and my plant gf me: “bby your hands is so thin” her: “that me leaf”
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0answers
653 views

(Joke) Batchers Vs. Butchers

Here's the script from Inside No. 9 Nana's Party You can get them quite cheap now, can't you? It's all Marks's, actually. Apart from the ham, which I got from the local batchers. From ...
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2answers
3k views

What is the meaning of joke “may it plizzle the cozizzle” in Futurama?

In Futurama 5ACV16, character Leela, while in court, says "May it plizzle the cozizzle" instead of "may it please the court" to the judge (Snoop Dogg's head). I am not native English speaker, but I ...
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10answers
5k views

Phrase for criticism/insults concealed with humor

Passive aggressive people will sometimes veil insulting, critical, derogatory or generally aggressive comments with humor. The patina of humor makes the comment seem like a joke, not to be taken ...
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1answer
698 views

Meaning of “My high kicks are not done in a line!”

My high kicks are not done in a line! The above sentence appeared as a legend in a T-shirt I saw once. It accompanied the caricature of a soccer player warming up, but I didn't get the pun intended. ...
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2answers
1k views

“The other side” to refer to the afterlife

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to "the other side." Now you can take this one of two ways. Either the chicken simply wants to arrive on the other side of the road, or he is suicidal and ...
0
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1answer
684 views

I don't get this joke. Sentence seems like nonsense to me

So, I was at the bar last week, Behind the bar they have these signs with jokes on them. One of them said "If your drinking to forget, please pay me first"(This isn't the question, I get this joke). ...
6
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2answers
14k views

Ending a sentence with a preposition? [duplicate]

Recently in an episode of 'House of cards' they bring up the joke "Two freshmen girls are moving into their dorm room together. One of them's from Georgia, one of them's from Connecticut. The girl ...
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2answers
196 views

What's “jewishness” supposed to mean?

There is an image at http://www.pinterest.com/pin/160511174191029351/ which goes like this: I don't quite get the joke... what's "Jewishness" supposed to mean in this context?
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4answers
2k views

Analyzing Will Ferrell's “I Thought” joke

I'm reading Will Ferrell's Twitter where he wrote Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. Does the sentence still have the same meaning if ...
3
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1answer
771 views

Does a second meaning of “Hypotenuse” exist?

I've recently read this joke: You may be right, Pythagoras, but everyone’s going to laugh if you call it a “hypotenuse”. Does "hypotenuse" have a second meaning? What's funny about the word? Is ...
76
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2answers
63k views

Two crows being an attempted murder

What is the point of this joke? — "What do you call two crows on a branch?" — "Attempted murder." I've googled it to check if it was a word play but the closest one I've hit was "marauder". ...
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2answers
2k views

What is a proper response to a joke about visiting dentist at 2:30/tooth hurty?

I advised my client that I would be unavailable on a particular day because I have an appointment with the dentist to remove a tooth. The client responded What time is the appointment? 2:30? The ...
18
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1answer
1k views

“Have to split” in the film “The Running Man”

In the film The Running Man (1987), Arnold Schwarzenegger cut a man into two halves. His name was Buzz Saw. Then another man said: "Where did Buzz Saw go?" And Arnold Schwarzenegger said: "He had to ...
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2answers
657 views

A guy walks into a bar. His buddy laughs and says, “Don't worry, I didn't see it either.”

A guy walks into a bar. His buddy laughs and says, "Don't worry, I didn't see it either. What is the meaning of this joke? What makes it funny? (Is it supposed to be funny?) I saw this joke in the ...
6
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1answer
290 views

Dress up like a tailback

This comes from The Newsroom S01E06, about 51:48. Will comments on a large black bodyguard's advancements on McKenzie: Will: Dress up like a tailback and he won't be able to lay a hand on you. ...
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2answers
3k views

What is the “oldest joke in the book?”

What is the earliest recorded joke in a published work in the English language?
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1answer
702 views

“The man was either mad or both”

In the delightful Fry and Laurie sketch The Letter, several puns are expertly delivered by Stephen Fry, however there is one I don't understand. At 4:45 in the video, he says "The man was either mad, ...
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2answers
186 views

Aren't answers to questions dependent clauses? How do you punctuate one after the question?

For example, which one(s) is correct: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the chicken cross the road: to get to the other side. Why did the chicken cross the road?...
6
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2answers
31k views

Meaning of “dog” in the “updog” joke [closed]

I don't get this joke: It smells like up dog in here, What's up dog? Nuuthin dog, what's up with you? (source) I understand that the person asking "What's up dog" is tricked into ...
18
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1answer
7k views

What does the joke with the punchline about Chrome and Hollandaise mean, and why is it funny?

A joke goes like this: A friend at work had an unusual dental related problem recently. About a month ago he had to have a small steel plate inserted in his mouth. A week later he noticed the plate ...
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2answers
2k views

Is the phrase “Take my wife – please!” a paraprosdokian?

I was reading the wiki page about paraprosdokians and I don't understand why the phrase: Take my wife – please! is classified as one.
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1answer
377 views

Meaning of “9/11 is plain wrong” joke

My friend said to me that making fun out of 9/11 is plain wrong, and then he said it was a joke? Honestly I don't get the joke? Why would it be plain wrong? Doesn't plain mean nothing? I'm confused.
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6answers
49k views

Please explain this joke about two nuns in a bath

I've heard this joke several times, but I'm ashamed to say I really cannot understand it. It just doesn't seem to make any sense however I look at it. I have a suspicion that it is supposed to be ...
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3answers
14k views

What exactly does this “play a country song backwards” joke mean?

So I come across this joke,which rather confuses me. — What do you get when you play a country song backwards? — You get your house back, your wife back, your dog back, your truck back... I ...
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4answers
2k views

What does it mean - “When X does Y, God kills Z”? [closed]

I've come across many pages, articles and texts which say something like When X does Y, God kills a kitten When X happens, God kills an elephant Like here - God kills a pigeon here - God kills ...
2
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1answer
433 views

What is funny in Inflammable

In one episode of Simpsons there is joke when fire catches because a foreign citizen read "inflammable" on a gas bottle, and said it is all right.