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Currently, I am writing an abstract of my technical report. I have to compose the following two sentences in proper way. Kindly advise me to compose these two statements.

The Internet of Things (IoT) combines Wireless Sensor and Actuation Networks~(WSANs), Pervasive computing, and the elements of the “traditional” Internet such as web and database servers with uses in several application domains. While the main challenge in the WSANs is the large scale of the system (hundreds to thousands of largely similar nodes), the primary concern in the pervasive computing has been the heterogeneity of nodes and the major role that the user's own interaction with these nodes plays in these systems.

My attempt would be the following:

The Internet of Things (IoT) combines Wireless Sensor and Actuation Networks~(WSANs)(i.e., the large scale of the system (hundreds to thousands of largely similar nodes)), Pervasive computing (i.e., the heterogeneity of nodes and the major role that the user's own interaction with these nodes plays in these systems), and the elements of the “traditional” Internet such as web and database servers with uses in several application domains.

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When you say "compose" do you mean "combine into a single sentence"? – StoneyB Dec 18 '12 at 22:16
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Although I've edited this to remove the RTF formatting and make it more readable, I think this is writing advice and therefore off-topic. – Andrew Leach Dec 18 '12 at 22:17
Agreed: writing advice/critique. Try Writing.SE. – MετάEd Dec 18 '12 at 22:21
Thanks. I accept your point. But, could you please suggest me that my attempt is right or wrong grammatically? – Pankesh Patel Dec 18 '12 at 22:25
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Yes, it's fine, but having to cram everything into one sentence is a very strange requirement. – Jason Orendorff Dec 18 '12 at 22:53
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closed as off topic by MετάEd, Andrew Leach, FumbleFingers, Mitch, Mahnax Dec 19 '12 at 1:40

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1 Answer

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Your paraphrase leaves out the important identification of the parenthetical elements as problems. One sentence seems, as Jason Orendorff says, a very strange requirement; but here's a stab:

The Internet of Things (IoT) combines elements of the “traditional” Internet (such as web and database servers, which have uses in several application domains) with two other elements, each of which presents a distinct challenge: Wireless Sensor and Actuation Networks (WSANs), whose hundreds and even thousands of mostly similar nodes raise problems of scale, and Pervasive computing, where the problem is the heterogeneity of nodes and the major role played by users' interactions with them.

Shorter than the original, and I hope more intelligible—and just one sentence. But I wasn't quite sure exactly how the business of "interactions" fit.

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