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During the monsoons, it rained heavily and continuously. The ditches, pits and channels all overflowed with water...

In the (....) I want to say something like:

this whole scene of torrential rainfall promoted unhealthiness, due to which the postmaster's health deteriorated.

Although it doesn't sound quite right, is there a better way to put this in?

EDIT: The whole story takes place in a village. The protagonist, who spent all his life in a city, comes here for his first job. Although due to his background he's unable to mingle with the other residents of the area. As a result, he feels lonely and out of place. Due to the abundant rain of the monsoons, the whole place develops a very gloomy ambiance – which promotes illness (I hope you get the idea).

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closed as off topic by Carlo_R., coleopterist, Jim, RegDwigнt Nov 12 '12 at 10:07

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Would you mind clarifying the link between rainfall and poor health? –  philq Nov 12 '12 at 7:46
    
Such questions are generally considered to be too localised and unlikely to be of help to future visitors. I'm not sure if it will be acceptable on writers.SE. But that might be worth a try. –  coleopterist Nov 12 '12 at 8:12
1  
I believe "promote" is a very bad word choice both in the story and in explanation. It usually implies conscious propaganda effort. You could say McDonalds commercials promote bad eating habits and thus bad health. I'm not sure what word you should use but "promote" is a bad choice. –  SF. Nov 12 '12 at 8:46
    
@coleopterist: Writers.SE considers them "too localized" as well. We accept requests for critique, but they need to be phrased as critique requests - and that's not something that happens often in EL&U questions. –  Standback Nov 12 '12 at 14:39
    
Constant rain may produce an unhealthful MIASMA: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miasma_theory –  Wayfaring Stranger Nov 12 '12 at 18:08

2 Answers 2

up vote 1 down vote accepted

I suggest something like:

Such torrential rain was a precursor to disease, and it resulted in the deterioration of the postmaster's health.

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With little sunlight, the postmaster's health began to deteriorate.

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