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Our interactive products are fun to use on desktop, mobile and touchscreen devices, just look awesome and are driven by the latest technology.

The commas don't seem right to me. Shouldn't there be some semicolons in there?

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3  
Put a period after devices and begin the next sentence with They. But this looks like proof-reading to me, and that’s a service we don’t normally offer. – Barrie England Oct 11 '12 at 7:22
The title of this stack is English Language & Usage. I asked about the use of commas and semicolons in an English sentence. Where else should I have asked this, if not here? – bernk Oct 11 '12 at 11:54
Please read the faq. Proof-reading questions are very localised, as in: they will only help you, so I guess they won't be welcome on Stack Exchange. – Matt Эллен Oct 11 '12 at 12:57
1  
"Proofreading ('are there any mistakes?'), unless the source of concern is clearly specified." In my own defense, the source of my concern is indeed specified. I apologize if this question is truly out of place. Reading the FAQ made me feel that I clearly don't belong here as I'm neither a linguist, etymologists, or (serious) English language enthusiasts. – bernk Oct 11 '12 at 15:49

closed as off topic by Matt Эллен, MετάEd, tchrist, JLG, Mark Beadles Oct 12 '12 at 19:29

Questions on English Language & Usage Stack Exchange are expected to relate to English language and usage within the scope defined in the FAQ. Consider editing the question or leaving comments for improvement if you believe the question can be reworded to fit within the scope. Read more about closed questions here.

2 Answers

up vote 1 down vote accepted

Try this:

Our interactive products are fun to use on desktop, mobile, and touchscreen devices; they just look awesome; and they're driven by the latest technology.

Now you've got semi-colons. You can separate the ideas with dashes:

"Our interactive products are fun to use on desktop, mobile, and touchscreen devices -- they just look awesome -- and they're driven by the latest technology."

or

Our interactive products are fun to use on desktop, mobile, and touchscreen devices -- just look awesome -- are driven by the latest technology.

With only commas:

"Our interactive products are fun to use on desktop, mobile, and touchscreen devices, just look awesome, and are driven by the latest technology."

Or even a list:

Our interactive products:

  • are fun to use on desktop, mobile, and touchscreen devices
  • just look awesome
  • are driven by the latest technology.

It depends on where these words appear and what kind of impression you want to make. Can you give us an idea of where and how the sentence is going to be used?

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Thanks very much, Bill. Great examples. – bernk Oct 11 '12 at 11:56
up vote 1 down vote

The awkwardness of the sentence stems from the three verbs – two of which use are, but the middle one doesn't.

Bill Franke gave some good suggestions, but I'd reword it along these lines:

Our interactive products are fun to use on desktop, mobile and touchscreen devices, and are driven by the latest technology. Not only that, they look awesome, too."

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