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Is there a quaint-sounding/archaic dual to address women a la "[my] [good] sir" jovially in casual conversation? I can't come up with an expression that doesn't sound like a moderately intense term of endearment (e.g. my [fair] lady). Can you even sound quaint but still be modern?

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I don't consider lady to be as endearing as you. Perhaps madam or even woman (i.e. "my good woman")? This question may be a better fit at Writers.SE as it's open-ended and likely to lead to extended debate or discussion. – Zairja Sep 27 '12 at 20:25
"Madam" works as a female equivalent in most places where for a man you would say "sir". "Lady" is the female equivalent of "gentleman". – Jay Sep 27 '12 at 20:31
The female knights I know all prefer dame as the feminine version of sir, but somehow, "my good dame" just doesn't really work. – Marthaª Sep 28 '12 at 5:36
up vote 11 down vote accepted

How "lady" is going to be received really depends on your audience. That said, some options are:

My good lady
My lady
My good woman

A lot will depend on context, too, as well as tone.

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My mother-in-law reported being disgusted by a colleague from the American south addressing her as "the little lady." – JAM Sep 27 '12 at 20:46
+1 for My good woman – bib Sep 27 '12 at 21:46
Madam was my first thought....nice answer! – Shokhet Jul 4 '14 at 13:22

My dear lady would sound quaint. It was used by Shakespeare.

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Context is lacking in the question, but as woman I would generally consider it sweet, workplace excluded, for a man to address me as kind lass (or lovely lass if his intention is to flirt).

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