I wrote a song for a play I'm writing where I utilize a degree of early modern english, it's not entirely in archaic prose as for many audiences that would be a turn off, as its a comedy and a pastiche so it's only lightly used and blended with more modern conversation. Think 'Kiss Me Kate' but when I do use I'm trying to make sure I'm using the grammar correctly and not wrong. As I said I wrote a song for it, during a "play within a play" scene and I'm having some trouble figuring out if I'm conjugating some of the verbs correctly, a lot of these are I think the imperative since the character is asking/commanding something of someone else so I'm a bit confused. Can anyone make any corrections for me? The song is addressing the moon as if it were a person; i.e. the goddess Diana
Pale moon, pale moon go fade
into the night away, adrift
for sad light, sad light is lade
by thy face white and cold. O how swift
(O how swift)
I get lost and turned quick a fool
in moth hours wan and blue
under thy silvered shone. O who’ll
beareth the heft (beareth the heft)
of this folly that runneth me through?
(For in truth I’ve given all my sprigs of rue,
offered up all sprigs of rue.)
O spare my heart and spare my head
from thy hunt, thy fleet and forest train.
No hounds, no hounds that teareth and shred,
they art not mine (not mine) this bane.
Let me alone, alone my eyes to sleep
I bid thou sink into the mirror’d sea
and cease, cease, a sabled state so deep,
bringest good reason back to me.