Can one use 'self' as substitute for 'myself' in 'a trip for my wife and self'? I have noticed that using 'myself' there raises other grammatical issues strictly related with the so_called "Toff's error", which I want to avoid!
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You can use 'self', but you shouldn't. If you ("I") are the subject of the clause you should employ 'myself'; otherwise you should employ 'me':
Other devices are available to secure emphasis. For instance, if you want to emphasize that your own participation in the trip is a happy bonus you might say "Herbert arranged a trip to Pago-Pago for both my wife and me." If your wife is still distressed you might say "Herbert arranged a trip for both my wife and for me", or even ".. for my wife - and me, myself as well!"
In any case, considerations beyond usage tend to discourage telling your wife to deal with it.
People will understand what you mean but it isn't correct usage. Myself is better although it sounds a bit formal and stilted. Tell you wife that you're going to say "me and my wife" and she's going to have to deal with it!