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Can one use 'self' as substitute for 'myself' in 'a trip for my wife and self'? I have noticed that using 'myself' there raises other grammatical issues strictly related with the so_called "Toff's error", which I want to avoid!

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What's wrong with using me? – Andrew Leach Aug 10 '12 at 11:05
@Andrew Leach My wife does not like it! She says that there is little emphasis. – Elberich Schneider Aug 10 '12 at 11:14
I think you should edit the question and say why you don't like each of I, me and myself and what you hope to achieve by using self. (I don't understand what you mean by "little emphasis". Emphasis of what?) – Andrew Leach Aug 10 '12 at 11:16
As we have to say over and over again, it all depends on context, on the effect the speaker is trying to achieve. – Barrie England Aug 10 '12 at 11:21
He(@Andrew) is not uncomfortable with what you said, we want people to be a little more precise. – Noah Aug 10 '12 at 14:13
up vote 5 down vote accepted

You can use 'self', but you shouldn't. If you ("I") are the subject of the clause you should employ 'myself'; otherwise you should employ 'me':

  • I arranged a trip for my wife and myself.
  • Herbert arranged a trip for my wife and me.

Other devices are available to secure emphasis. For instance, if you want to emphasize that your own participation in the trip is a happy bonus you might say "Herbert arranged a trip to Pago-Pago for both my wife and me." If your wife is still distressed you might say "Herbert arranged a trip for both my wife and for me", or even ".. for my wife - and me, myself as well!"

In any case, considerations beyond usage tend to discourage telling your wife to deal with it.

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People will understand what you mean but it isn't correct usage. Myself is better although it sounds a bit formal and stilted. Tell you wife that you're going to say "me and my wife" and she's going to have to deal with it!

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