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I wrote an e-mail proposal to send to a client but after asking a co-worker's opinion I decided to reformulate it.

Now I have to describe what has been done but I'm not sure if the expression below is correct or if there is a more idiomatic way to say it.

Revision of the email proposal.

Is this correct, and if not, what would be a better way to express this?

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Christi, sorry the off-topic but why have you used the present perfect on the sentence "Now I have to describe what has been done but I'm not sure" ? –  utxeee Jun 29 '12 at 16:01
    
@uxteee being a native speaker with very little in the way of formal education in English grammar, it's difficult for me to tell you precisely why the sentence as I edited it is right. The best I can come up with is to say that your need arises in the present as a result of what you have done in the past. "I have to describe what I have done" may be a simpler and thus better way to have put it. –  Christi Jun 29 '12 at 16:19
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2 Answers

up vote 3 down vote accepted

If the description is used as a title or tag in a work-tracking system, you can drop article "the". Where brevity and directness are important, one might change phrases of form "revision of X" to "X revision", and phrases of form "proposal about Y" to "Y proposal". Thus, consider tags like "Proposal revision", "Jones proposal revision", etc.

Unless the proposal is about email, rather than merely transmitted by email, modifying proposal with email is misleading (but emailed would work). For example, "Emailed Jones proposal revision".

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What you've written is grammatical, but could be more clearly expressed by the phrase "revision of the proposal sent previously by email" (with an optional "to fix x, y and z in light of A's comments" if you're feeling expansive and want to indicate why the revision was necessary).

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