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up vote 2 down vote favorite

They have committed suicide.

It sounds too cold. I am not writing a report.

They have ended their lives.

It sounds too boring.

So how can I phrase it such that there is a sense of beauty?

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2  
You’re not the first to grapple with this question. There is a classic scene in literature about this. Here it is: “Is that how one says it? As simply as that? “Mark Antony is dead. Lord Antony is dead.” “The soup is hot; the soup is cold.” “Mark Antony is living; Mark Antony is dead.” Shake with terror when such words pass your lips … ” Here’s the link to where this reference is used, just as you would like to use it: billcainonline.com/?p=2170 – Hexagon Tiling Apr 3 '12 at 18:56
Rather than closing this question, I think it should be migrated to Writers. (I'd do that myself, if I had the permissions and the know-how...) – J.R. Apr 4 '12 at 2:23
Please stop migrating these to Writers; these single-phrase questions with no context will simply be closed, pending further edits to provide context and specific questions about the excerpt. – Neil Fein Apr 4 '12 at 4:26
Hmmm... okay... if you say so... @ArchJ - maybe try Yahoo! answers, or Answerbag.com... Evidently, this question doesn't have a home on the StackExchange. Too bad, I thought it was a decent question... – J.R. Apr 4 '12 at 8:29
@J.R. Sure! Thanks for the suggestions:) – user19341 Apr 4 '12 at 8:55
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closed as off topic by waiwai933♦ Apr 4 '12 at 3:54

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6 Answers

up vote 5 down vote accepted

They chose to take their own lives

maybe, or

They chose to depart from this life to the next.

I think the key is the choice of verb - 'have' is quite passive-sounding, whereas a more action-based verb like 'choose' or 'take' might be more to your liking.

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up vote 5 down vote

In the words of Don McLean:

You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant
For one as beautiful as you

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2  
precisely the lyric that I was thinking of, so +1 for you! – Kate Gregory Apr 3 '12 at 19:27
up vote 3 down vote

They have elected total abstinence.

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2  
made me smirk :) +1 – 0xC0000022L Apr 3 '12 at 19:58
up vote 1 down vote

They have entered eternity without waiting to be invited.

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up vote 0 down vote

They have made final transition ahead of schedule.

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up vote 0 down vote

If you want the writing to be more vivid, add more details. Explain how and why they did it. If this is fiction, then add details about the location, what they were wearing, how it sounded, smelled, looked, etc.

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