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I am designing a user interface, and I added some checkboxes for the user to indicate what behavior they want to happen when they submit a form.

I have this as the label for a checkbox:

Archive status, removing it as an option from the status assignment interface

During a design review, this was called out as poor grammar (a run-on sentence). I think the phrase after the comma is just modifying, and describing the command -- I think it's a participle phrase that is used appropriately.

Is it incorrect? Correct but awkwardly worded? Totally legit?

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I am considering "Archive status. Remove it as an option from the status assignment interface" as an alternative, though that seems terse – pc1oad1etter Feb 13 '12 at 16:20
You clearly intend "Archive status" to define an action, where what follows simply provides a more complete description of the action. That being the case, "archive" is a verb, and "status" is a noun. But in the following clause, "it" is confusing - it doesn't refer to the current transaction's "status" itself, but to the checkbox that allows that status to be archived. Essentially, the whole thing is mixed-up. – FumbleFingers Feb 13 '12 at 17:18
@FumbleFingers I think you generally have understood my question, but I'm surprised to see you state that the second phrase refers to the status. It seemed obvious to me that it applies to the "Status". But perhaps that's my problem. – pc1oad1etter Feb 13 '12 at 18:41
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It's not clear immediately that "archive" is a verb. This may be part of the problem. If you said "archive the status", I think the description would be much clearer. – Peter Shor Feb 13 '12 at 19:02
Assuming I understand what it's supposed to do, I'd label the option "Save current status (disables this option until further changes are made)". Surely no-one would have trouble with that description. – FumbleFingers Feb 13 '12 at 21:22

3 Answers

up vote 1 down vote accepted

It's certainly not a run-on sentence, so it's not incorrect from that standpoint.

However, the phrase lacks both conciseness and clarity.

Why not simply say:

Archive status and remove from the assignment interface

Why is it necessary to state "and remove it as an option?" I imagine that the status assignment interface is nothing but a list of options.

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up vote 1 down vote

I think I would try something like: "Send to Archive" and then if you felt it was necessary, Add "(Note: archived statuses are not shown in the Status Assignment Interface.)"

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It's more of a dangling participle, I think, but the answer would depend on how your documentation is formatted. If all of the labels are done as "object, what happens to it", then that could be valid. Personally, I'd phrase it as "Remove Archive Status as an option from status assignment interface" on the screen itself and "Removes Archive Status as an option from status assignment interface" as a description in documentation of the design.

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the meaning may not be clear without the other context, but when the box is checked and the form us submitted, the status gets archived. A side effect of "archiving" is that it never get shown the the UI. So, "Archive Status" doesn't get removed from the UI -- archiving a status removes it from the UI. – pc1oad1etter Feb 13 '12 at 16:16
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Huh. That changes the meaning entirely for me. :) Funny how perspective changes with an explanation. Easiest solution is the rephrasing suggested by Gnawme. – Sean Duggan Feb 13 '12 at 21:19

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