I want a replacement for rains in my title, as it doesn't really make sense since it won't rain, it will snow.
I think I could use precipitates but I wouldn't use that in conversation as it seems overly wordy.
Don't change a word! Your sentence is a fine example of a Yogiism (a pithy comment or witticism that uses paradox or tautology). Here are some of my favourite quotes attributed to Yogi Berra:
The way it is now is perfectly correct and actually very witty and funny, so there's no need to change anything, but let me propose another idea, which should be equally good and maybe a bit simpler to understand.
I'm inspired by the tagline of Resident Evil (1996 video game), which says:
It's not really the same thing, but you can see the similarities.
You could go the technical route with:
Edited to include:
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